STRANDED

I SAID, "I'm baby"

This baby is 30 years old and still lives in his mom’s womb. Ugh! Can’t stand it how kids these days rely so much on their parents. I bet you he spent too much money on avocado toast and that’s why he can’t afford rent in downtown Toronto. He got ...

‘Is Boss Baby 2 out yet?’ and other pressing questions you may have

Remember the baby in that viral meme or vine from a while ago that you randomly remembered while talking to someone (and had to spend seven minutes searching for it while assuring said someone it’ll be “totally worth it”)? It might surprise you to know there are real people and ...

Each and every one of us, every *a*, every **k*, every ***n**, every ******x*** (or some combination thereof), has heard it in one form or another: “Think of the children!” Just think about their extreme innocence and whatnot; their empty expressions, their charming lack of socialization, their curious natures. We ...

The six elaborate reasons behind why it’s appropriate for me to dress my baby up and take her for walks in her stroller In August of 2019, I adopted a cat. In March of 2020, six months later, I realized that I, in fact, did not adopt a cat. I ...

Fuck, he’s gone again, oh no, no. Oh no, oh there he is

Okay, so let’s say your girlfriend is walking down the street and it’s a pretty nice day out. She’s just walking down Bloor and she sees, out of the corner of her eye, a little bit of sperm. Not like an excessive amount but, like, it’s visible to the naked ...

Chances are, you’re not baby either People these days throw around the termphrase “I’m baby” as a joke. It is not a joke. If you are twenty years old, you cannot claim, “I’m baby.” You cannot possibly have a successful rap career if you are, for example, “da baby.” I ...

1. “Ewwwww.”  2. “They’re stupid nasty stinky poo-poo heads.”  3. “Unpopular opinion, but I think their second album was better than their first.”  4. “You know that movie Baby Boss? Has the second one come out yet?”  5. “Babies are so stupid; they can’t even fucking read.”  6. “I saw ...