Author name: Max Nisbeth

Petition to move Valentine’s Day to the summer

We get it! Valentine’s Day sucks! Mostly because it’s essentially a calendar alert for your loneliness and a holiday for the soul purpose of exploiting your wallet (a lot to unpack there). Often enough, because of all of these poopsicles, we raise expectations to have an amazing day—but if any of us learned anything from the Taylor2 film about Valentine’s Day,

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Love hurts but not as much as me losing at my Bachelor fantasy league

Dear Reader(s),  Listen, I understand that during a holiday perpetuated by a company that makes folded paper it can be hard to hold back the tears. Hell, I cried three distinct times during Spider-Man: Into  Spider-Verse—and that’s not even a joke. The point is that the next time you hear that smooth, sexy, jazz vibrato of

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Realistic new year’s resolutions

We can sit around grasping our iPhone running bands, Martha Stewart cookbooks, and ECOMAN study subscriptions, all while huddling by a digital fire of our own self-delusion reading The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants, but eventually we’ll all be burned by the reality that these pants indeed do not fit. The reality that it takes a little more than sisterly love and the Spice Girls

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