The new slumber party celebrity crush game
Listen, we’ve all sat around and dished with our gals during the tenth-anniversary screening of High School Musical 2 and decided to spice it up with a good old Fuck, Marry, Kill of the cast! But in light of this final issue of The Strand I thought it was appropriate to change things up a bit. This game… Fuck, Fuck, or Fuck! Look, we live in the times of modern. We have the right to not marry—who knew? So BOOM! Marriage, like the patriarchy, is on the way out like a Popeye’s five–piece bowel movement, somehow both quickly and extremely, extremely slowly. Marriage gone! Consensual fucks in! Not unlike marriage, murder too is on the way out. No longer is killing considered the personal hobby it once was. We are free and we have a choice—to not kill! And what better way to replace the feeling of a swift manslaughter than with a long 30–second sex sesh (that’s long enough right?). Watch out murder! You just got fucked by fucks! Double fuck combo! The best part of the old game is now every part of this game! It is PERFECT!!!! Don’t believe me? Then slide into this article’s DMs below and watch this new Monopoly of fucking do its Magic Mike!
Zac Efron in High School Musical, Zac Efron in 17 Again, Zac Efron in Neighbors: Fuck, fuck, fuck
Mrs. Incredible from The Incredibles, Yzma from The Emperor’s New Groove, The Old Man from Up: Fuck, fuck, fuck
Dipsy, Laa-Laa, Tinky-Winky: Fuck, fuck, fuck
Yosemite National Park, the Great Wall of China, the Grand Canyon: Fuck, fuck, fuck
Cucumbers, peaches, pie: Fuck, fuck, fuck
Ken Burns, Ken Burns, Ken Burns: FUCK, FUCK, FUCK
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