Haunted houses are super fun to live in, right?
Knock Knock? Who’s there? Casper, the friendly ghost. Casper, the friendly ghost, who? Boo. That’s the joke, right? Well, soon enough that will be your life.
I think we have all reached that stage in our lives where it’s time to look for a new living arrangement. It’s time to move out into the real world and find a “fun” space to live in. There’s only one house in the whole world that I would love to live in and it is the haunted house from the Conjuring franchise. Yes, the one with the creepy (in a cool way) basement. The house has perfect rental qualities (cute little demons playing around) with an oomph factor, so what are you thinking? Get in losers and buckle up. We are going on a wild ride and the final destination is Mojo Dojo Casa House of your nightmares!!
When watching a horror film, the first thing I do, apart from rating if the ghosts are hot or not, is to see if I will survive in one of those creepy houses. This is my Roman Empire. Not to brag, but living in a haunted house is a piece of cake if you hack the system. Besties you’re all in luck. Your saviour (me duh) is going to give you a quick lesson on how to live with the voices and moving shadows. After reading this, you can 100 percent move in with ghosts and monsters.
Do you remember the shadow monster that lived rent-free under your bed when you were young? Well, he’s all grown up now, but the catch is that he’s still jobless so he still can’t afford rent. He’s still your problem. Shadow monsters are lonely (exactly like you), and you can use this weakness to your advantage by giving them company instead of being scared. Living in a house full of them has one solution. Treat them like your therapist. Talk about anything or everything (like your failed dating life) and no one will interrupt because contrary to popular belief, shadow monsters are good listeners (yes, this is tried and tested by yours truly). Your pointless rants might even scare them off, so everything will totally play out to your advantage. The biggest catch is that your therapy will be free of cost and the moving shadows won’t even judge you.
Now, another trick here is to be on the good side of the ghosts, and there’s only one way to do it. YES, you guessed it, play spicy UNO with them. Legend has it that the best way to truly know a person is by playing a game of UNO with them. I mean ghosts were once humans, so this theory is bound to work for them too. We all know the spicy version of the game is superior, so you will instantly earn the respect of the demons. Listen, be the gamemaster and have them all fall to their knees by throwing too many UNO reverse cards. The power will be in your hands, literally. Also, I have this theory (basically the truth) that ghosts can not see colour, so they are easier to beat in this game.
Tired of playing games? It’s time for ghost stories. What better time to share ghost stories than the time when they are actually present to tell the tales? Having ghosts give their two cents about their life is actually very meta and will change the trajectory of your life. The significance of stories (ghost’s version) is INSANE. Imagine a ghost going, “Get ready with me while I tell you about the time I killed a man for breathing in my direction,” just got chills from excitement. In order to live in that house you have to experience at least one story time daily.
Well, here you have it folks, a few tips on how to keep it cordial with the ghosts and running shadows that will lurk around you once you become their roommate. Don’t be scared of them; treat them like friends with a bad temper. You can also easily scare them away by blasting “Creep” on the speakers. That is always an option.