Stranded

1. “Ewwwww.”  2. “They’re stupid nasty stinky poo-poo heads.”  3. “Unpopular opinion, but I think their second album was better than their first.”  4. “You know that movie Baby Boss? Has the second one come out yet?”  5. “Babies are so stupid; they can’t even fucking read.”  6. “I saw a baby once, and I

My conception was far from romantic. It began at 7:30 on a Friday night, under a flag that was once draped over Queen Victoria’s casket. Helen, my mother, was alone at the foot of a table with a plate of roast chicken, paired with a bowl of miso soup with enough sodium for a half-marathon. She was alone

You hold the squishy fleshy baby in your hands. Your nose dips into the fuzz of their scalp. You inhale deeply. Baby Smell™ fills your nostrils and binds to your serotonin receptors, flooding you with emotions. But what is Baby Smell™? What are the components of this exudation, the most potent human vape juice? Some

Baby babbles in shocking interview