It’s Groundhog Day but with titrations
Someone please help.
For the past 100 days (give or take), I’ve been stuck in a Groundhog Day-esque time loop, in which I am endlessly forced to do a titration—yet, despite my best efforts, the titration fails every time. Although I’ve never been particularly religious, I think this fits the biblical definition of ‘hell.’
For those of you who are business majors, a titration is a common lab technique for determining the concentration of a certain solution—in my case, it was acetic acid, AKA vinegar. Before starting my titration, I added a few drops of phenolphthalein to my acetic acid of unknown concentration. Then, the idea was to slowly add sodium hydroxide (a base) to the acetic acid, until the solution became neutral. I would know when it became neutral because the phenolphthalein would turn the solution light pink. Except, that’s not how it went. I was watching Instagram Reels while doing the titration and didn’t notice that I added too much sodium hydroxide. The solution quickly became bright pink, meaning it was basic instead of neutral.
I later went back to my dorm, and then to bed, frustrated at screwing up what was probably one of the easiest lab techniques. The next day, I woke up at 8:00 am, which I thought was strange because I could’ve sworn that I set my alarm for 10:00 am. Staring at the time on my phone, I realized that it was also displaying yesterday’s date. Weird, I thought. When I told my roommate about this, she laughed. Then, upon seeing the date my phone was displaying, she became confused and insisted that the date being displayed on my phone was the correct one. I didn’t believe her and checked my other devices to confirm, only to realize they all were displaying yesterday’s date. I couldn’t find any explanation for this and started to wonder if I was going insane. It was only during my chemistry lecture, when I was able to predict my friend’s story about a man on the subway trying to steal her backpack this morning, that I realized today was actually a repeat of yesterday.
Each day I am forced once again to do my titration, and each day I somehow screw it up. The solution always turns too pink or not pink at all—except for the one time it turned blue (I still have no idea how that happened). I’ve tried adding less sodium hydroxide or less phenolphthalein, but no matter what I do, the solution turns from colourless to bright pink with only a drop (or, occasionally, it doesn’t change colour at all). I swear I’ve tried everything. The only time I was able to get the solution to turn light pink, it almost immediately started bubbling out of the Erlenmeyer flask and caught fire—I’m not sure how that was even physically possible.
I’m convinced the only way to break out of this time loop is to do the titration properly, but that’s starting to seem like an impossible task. Sometimes I try skipping the titration, but when I do, the day immediately restarts. Yesterday, after living the same day almost 100 times, I stole a bottle labelled ‘coniine’ (a poisonous compound found in hemlock) from the lab. Later that day, sitting outside, I decided to chug the bottle in hopes that I would finally end my own personal hell. After feeling a burning sensation and no signs of death for about a minute, I looked at the bottle again and realized my dyslexia was worse than I thought. The bottle was actually labelled ‘capsaicin’ (the stuff that makes peppers spicy and pepper spray hurt). I stood up quickly and rushed toward my dorm to get some milk, but ended up slipping on black ice, hitting my head, and getting run over by one of those snow-clearing machines. My eyelids became heavy, and I closed them for a moment. When I reopened them, it was 8:00 am and I was in my bed once again.
Writing this article is the only thing left that I haven’t tried. When I saw that the new edition of The Strand was “Ouroboros” themed, I was sure it wasn’t a coincidence. I think that maybe if I publish this article, it’ll end the time loop (or at the very least put me in contact with someone that can help).
Please, I am at my wits’ end here. If I have to do another titration, I’m going to lose it.