I met Kate plus 8 and she refused to wear a mask.
This dream took place in my elementary school, and while Kate, and in particular her haircut, represents “Karen,” I believe I dreamt this because I’ve been watching TLC with my mom lately. She (Kate, not my mom) made me take care of her kids and I had to wear a mask around her kids so that I wouldn’t infect them, but she refused to wear one. I think some other TLC stars were there, probably The Duggars. You can replace this with any mid-tier celebrity and maybe get some sort of viral tweet out of it if you pretend it was you who dreamt it. I give you permission to do that.
We got these free swimming pools installed but they were Dr Pepper brand .
I think this took place at UofT? Do we have pools? I can’t remember if the pools were also going to be filled with Dr Pepper. I have a vague memory that the reason they were doing this was to promote the new flavour of Dr Pepper, which is confusing cause isn’t Dr Pepper just like a bunch of things mixed together? What are you changing, like one of the 3039293 ingredients? Marketing Dr Pepper but adding a label that says smth like “the dr has been a woman this whole time, idiots!!! if you don’t buy Dr. Pepper you HATE WOMEN???” (That part I made up but could still work for a bad TikTok.)
Jagmeet Singh showed up and I wanted to ask him a political question but I couldn’t bc everyone wanted to get selfies and pictures with him and I was like Jagmeet why can’t you raise the minimum wage to $15 before 2022 (that’s their election promise*) and he was like I’m too busy and then kept like taking pictures with everyone.
This one is self-explanatory. *Correction though, I think this is the NDP’s promise for Newfoundland’s never-ending inferno style election hell pit, which is the fault of the Premier, a doctor, who told COVID nurses to deal with their stress by listening to a John Lennon song.
I was a brand ambassador for Fendi but they fired me when they found out I study literature.
Okay this one is really specific, but you can insert in any humanities program and come out with a “why we need the humanities” sob story which will only be read by people in the humanities. The logic of this one is a little flawed though, because I think I dreamt this because I used to (and still do?) take artistic inspiration from Miranda July, who does a lot of weird rich ppl shit and promotes couture brands and that’s been stressing me out. This one was fun though because during the interview in my dream, once they told me that I couldn’t represent them anymore, me and my mom ran out and grabbed as much as we could carry and then sold it for a solid amount of money. I’m kind of into these $1000 converse though.
Ghislaine Maxwell Tampon Brand.
I emailed this one to acclaimed short story writer George Saunders, and got a reply from his wife, saying that I’ve sent him into a pit of despair. She replied:
My husband, who loves to write stories in the genre of letter or email correspondence, keeps running around the house screaming “AHHHHHH”. “AHHHHH” he screams. “I will never come up with an idea as horrifyingly apt and as likely to manifest into a piece for the New Yorker with no content warning.”