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A Fidget Spinner In Memoriam
Usually in the Trendz section of The Strand we talk about the phattest, greasiest, anti-normie trendz sweeping the nashe. But in this issue, we want to take a moment to pay tribute to the fallen heroes of Trendz past; for we would not have the current fresh and spicy, Reddit-filled bowl of Honey Nut Trendio’s that we have today without the path of sacrifices blazed by fadz before it.
While there is nothing preventing the cold contact between our middle fingers and our thumbs, the metaphorical space between them has never felt so vast. What started off as some random spinny thingy to “help your attentiveness” ended as a random spinny thingy that was scientifically proven to NOT help your attentiveness. It marked the first time since Bakugan and Pokémon Cards that elementary school teachers were disbanding black market trade negotiations amongst 12-year-olds. The word “dank,” as well as the act of vaping, had never been used so popularly and with such shameless conviction. We are now in a dank vacuum, awaiting the next random and useless thing that will stick to our media-obsessed minds, sweep us off of our hover boarding feet, and steal our vine-viewing gaze just to give us a voluptuous, sweaty, twitter-bending trend that will surely die in a week. But hey, won’t that week be good.
Fidget Spinners will now join the legendary trend company of Heelys, Skip-its, and Ripstiks, which have all rolled themselves out of our lives as fast as they had wheeled themselves into them. It’s in moments like these where it is easy to crawl into a pit of despair: drowned by the weight of Kids Bop CDs, Silly Putty eggs, and Easy Bake ovens—but there is hope. These Trendz, like that of our most recent meme angel, will never die. They will continue to spin on in our minds and in our hearts.
Illustration | Melissa Avalos
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