Special Report: Student Sustains Head Injury During Frosh Week 2012, Chooses To Pursue The Arts

Experts have been studying a young woman who was the victim of “Violent Bonding” during Victoria College’s Frosh Week 2012. During a game of Ninja, the student, who The Strand has decided should probably remain anonymous, was struck in the face by a fellow Vic student during his turn. Although early examination showed no signs of injury, she now evidently exhibits symptoms of severe head trauma.

The fact that the young woman seemed unaffected at the time of the incident makes her rapid personal deterioration all the more tragic.

Suspicion of residual effects of the head trauma were aroused when she chose to complete a specialized first-year course studying fine art. From there, she chose to pursue a degree in The Arts. Most disturbingly, the student continually expresses an intention to find work in The Arts after graduation.

“She seems so genuinely happy doing it,” a concerned friend told The Strand. “But obviously she hasn’t been quite right since the incident.”

Similar concerns have been raised in the past regarding students in this young woman’s field of study. The University of Toronto continues to offer students courses in The Arts, but, our sources suspect, initially only intended them to be for students biding their time before pursuing a real field of study.

“We’re almost at the point where we’d need to do formal background checks,” states one analyst working on this case. “Search for signs of head trauma or viral brain infections that may have gone unnoticed, that sort of thing, to account for these students’ ardent belief that their degrees will be valued in any workplace.”

When asked if they would hire a victim of Violent Bonding, potential employers responded, “Uh, no?” They quickly asked The Strand’s Real World Correspondent to kindly leave their offices, their hesitation clearly a product of emotional overload upon hearing this young woman’s tragic story.

[WARNING: The following excerpt from an exclusive interview with this young woman may be disturbing to some readers.]

When asked about the Violent Bonding incident, the young woman laughed and reported that she found the episode “hilarious,” demonstrating a heartbreakingly blissful ignorance of her condition. When asked to comment on her choice to pursue a degree and career in The Arts, she reported that she “understood the risks” but was nonetheless “confident in her passion,” an opinion most people will no doubt recognize as one of a tragically deluded individual.

The University of Toronto has pledged to support these students in their endeavours. Insiders claim that the school wants to give these students a sense of purpose and confidence in their craft before sending them out into the real world, much like how an old golden retriever is soothed and petted before being euthanized.

Most recently, the young woman was spotted happily drafting a screenplay in her dorm room. Our thoughts and prayers are with her, but only time will tell what they are worth.

Note: The Strand refuses to comment on allegations that any member of its staff, especially the editor of Stranded, struck the student in question or “countless others” under the guise of Ninja-related incidents.

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