Yeah, you heard me!
Let me start off by saying it’s called “number one” for a reason. Because it’s our number-one priority when fighting climate change! And you metaphorically piss on the planet every time you literally piss in a toilet. Though let me quickly recognize the people on camping trips or outside of Dance Cave who quite literally urinate on the Earth and towards whom I’m ambivalent. This article is gonna put the “pee” in PSA! And you’re going to quickly realize that when you don’t optimize the disbursement of your “number one,” you’re actually making the planet your “number two”.
UREA. More like EUREKA (spelt differently but pronounced similarly)! There are three known components of sweat—that’s right, it’s about to get science: water, salt, and urea. And what is urea you may ask? Well, it’s actually the main ingredient of your homemade, human urine!! So for all of you reading this who are like, “The shower isn’t for peeing,” let me tell you, it is, and you’re already using it to wash off your urine-soaked bodies.
For those of you who are still doubtful, and still covered head-to-toe in piss, let me spell something else out for you: F-L-U-S-H-I-N-G W-A-S-T-E-S W-A-T-E-R. And if you think spelling that shit out was wasteful, then you’re in for a world of self-imposed irony. Fact: you shower, you use water. Other fact: flushing uses a lot of water. Final point supporting fact: peeing in the shower means you save water you would otherwise use for flushing without using additional water from the shower. So, try flushing down that log of knowledge because, trust me, it’s gonna stick, and most definitely clog.
The ONLY piece of credible criticism to any of this is the ancient proverb, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down.” To those of you who have continued to adopt this method, you’re disgusting. And if you think this is the only easy way to save the planet and use your piss efficiently, wait ‘til you read my next think piece: pee in the sink. Available wherever wackos impose their ideologies on other people… the internet, you fool!
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