Let’s face it, you’ve been having the same Christmas holiday for years. The magic is gone. The dinners and the gifts are becoming routine, and now you find yourself “planning” your holiday instead of just “doing it”. Here are five tips to reform your Christmas life to the glory it once was.
- Date nights
When did Christmas become sitting around and drinking hot chocolate all day? What happened to the romance of it all? This holiday take your family out to dinner. They deserve it. Invest in your relationship, and they’ll take notice. Treat them to a trip to the Christmas market and a viewing of Jojo Rabbit. Put in the effort, and you’ll feel it back. Trust me ;)
- Eggnog
Only drink eggnog. You will 1000% be sick—in a good way! You can recapture that one-on-one time with your entire family as they constantly clean up and take care of your projectile ass. Nothing creates intimacy between people like holding their hair as they puke. Trust me ;)
- Get fucking naked
When was Christmas great? When you were young! When you couldn’t use scissors and barely wore clothes. Do that now! Throw out your clothes and your scissors. Parade around your uncle’s apartment like a volunteer model for an art class. You will feel so free. And your family will give you A LOT more attention. Trust me ;)
- Role-playing
Maybe the key to re-activating your Christmas drive is breaking the monotony. Why not pretend to be Santa? Just leave your house at night, dress up as Santa, break into your own home even though you still have the keys, steal some food, and see what happens. Your family will definitely make you the centre of their discussions, and so will the police. TRUST ME ;) THEY WILL!
- Be open to polyamory
Your family already explores this by loving your guardians and siblings as much as they love you, or so they say. Why not bring someone else in on the fun? Like the local librarian for example. Consensually bring them as your holiday lover. Make gifts addressed to others on their behalf. Your family won’t be able to take their eyes off of them. But DO NOT let your family in on the love-making. Please! Do not have sex with your family!!! Trust me ;)