For those who have not had the chance to visit the massive 14-story concrete turkey that is Robarts Library, please be advised that this establishment does not come with instructions. Although its imposing structure makes it deceivingly easy to locate and enter, navigating and exiting the building is a different story.
If you are like me, you might decide that the best way to find where you want to go is to get on the elevator, pick your favourite number from one to 14, and hope it takes you there. (Directory? What directory?) As the doors close behind you, the seventh floor welcomes you with a blank wall, a deafening silence, and the creeping feeling that you are trespassing on a secure government facility.
The central, hexagonal room feels mildly suffocating, so you head for the doors around the edge that surely lead to somewhere with windows. They do not. None of the doors open, with no indication of what’s on the other side except a few signs reading “IT” and “Staff Only.” This feels deliberately vague and cryptic. On the other side of the blank wall, there are a few desks and a man who does not acknowledge your presence. There are no stairs. Naïvely, you decide that this floor is boring and you’d like to leave. A friendly little sign above the elevator you just exited informs you that the elevator does not service this floor. Neither does the next one, or the third, or the fourth. The fifth services only a few floors which are not open to students. What are they keeping there? Aliens? A map to the Northrop Frye McDonalds?
You press the “down” button and the elevators glide past, ignoring your request. The light behind the button turns off. Rude. You try the “up” button with no success. While you stand there trying not to look like a fool, several people appear out of nowhere pushing a black cart. They do not look at you, and proceed through a set of metal doors without saying a word. Robots? Central Intelligence?
After circling the room again, your options for escape are: a) call security; b) call a friend; or c) pray to the elevator deities. That is, assuming you don’t get kidnapped by Big Brother first.
TL;DR: Don’t come here. Or do, if you don’t plan on leaving. Happy studying :)