1) Are you gay?
- A. No, just in love with people of the same gender as myself
- B. I won’t tell you, but I will tell you I am a woman having sex with lots of women
- C. I’m really into Oscar Wilde
2) Would you ever change your name?
- A. No
- B. I go by my middle name and use my ex-husband’s last name
- C. I change it slightly all the time. Just figuring out what sounds best for artistic reasons
3) How’s your relationship with your family?
- A. They are mostly creepy and bad
- B. I’ve stayed close with them
- C.They don’t approve of my debauchery
4) If you had a motto, what would it be?
- A. “MORE RADICAL!”
- B. “Be artistically honest”
- C. “Live fast, die young”
5) How confusing do you want your art to be?
- A. ULTIMATELY CONFUSING
- B. Just confusing enough to make the reader understand
- C. Not so much confusing as unsettling
6) Thoughts on publishing?
- A. I don’t know, everyone wants to publish me. I’m just really good
- B. You’re not artistically honest unless you’re publishing your own work in a magazine you run by yourself
- C. Self-publish if you have to, anything to get your stuff out there
7) Thoughts on the suffragettes?
- A. They’re not radical enough
- B. I’d work with them
- C. Indifferent
8) How are you most likely to die?
- A. Alone in my one-bedroom apartment as a famous recluse and artist at 90 years old
- B. In an infamously aestheticized suicide, incapacitated and unable to work, after a lifetime of fighting depression :(
- C. Of a curable disease, because I’m a fucking dumbass who refuses to use non-homeopathic medicine
IF YOU GOT…
Mostly A: You are Djuna Barnes!!!!
You will write one of the most explicit (and beautiful) pieces of lesbian fiction ever published and it won’t even be censored because you’re writing something so radical the publishers can’t understand how dangerous it is (Lesbianism? What’s that? Probably fine). You live large and weird. You are an icon of the avant-garde scene. Everyone respects, loves, and fears you, but mostly you just want to stay inside and write.
Mostly B: You are Virginia Woolf!!!!
Nobody tells you what to do. You write and edit your own work and then publish it in your own printing press and if people don’t like it, they can fuck off. Everything you do will change the literary world forever (hello, stream of consciousness) and you know it. Lots of people will be in love with you, some of them you will love back. You are solidly, unabashedly bourgeois and the Jews give you the heebie-jeebies, but hey, everyone who makes the sort of ripple you do is gonna have some unsavory prejudices. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
Mostly C: You are Katherine Mansfield!!!!
You lead a pretty wild life. Personally, I think this is the best option. You got sent away by your parents and cut out of your mom’s will for having too much queer sex, but this is where you will start writing the really revolutionary stuff, and I mean, come on, we both know you’re not gonna live long enough to really need that money. You feel and understand deeply, but you’re not about to let reason or societal decorum cramp your style—whatever your style is. You’re figuring that out, I’m sure.