Which bathrooms around campus are the best to poo in?

A serious and reflective piece that is not meant to be funny

Best 

Ground Floor, Woodsworth College Residence 

Choosing the suite life doesn’t mean playing Disney’s Zack or Cody when it comes to college. If you are a Toronto-based student, it likely means you would rather save a few hundred on housing and take advantage of a semi-private kitchen. Unfortunately, the suite life can give you more than you bargained for if you wind up with roommates who believe in bottomless trash bins and the illusion of clean bathrooms. When I lived in Woodsworth for a week last summer, I always made sure to hold my number two, take the elevator three floors down to the lobby, and walk-run some eleven seconds to the washroom across Rotman lounge. There, the facilities are always clean, and seldom occupied. The tissue is also rather thick, despite being only two-ply. The flush is always strong enough to allow a worry-free departure, and the paper towels seem to never run out. This stop is a stone’s throw (literally) away from the St. George Street exit of St. George Station. Swing by before you get on the subway. Just make sure you show up before 10:30pm, because that is when the front doors lock. No worries if you have the magical I-live-here keycard, though.  

Ground Floor, Cumberland House 

Situated on the northeastern corner of St. George and College, this bathroom lives inside an Anne of Green Gables-esque impostor-castle-looking-“house”. Though the bathroom facing the receptionist’s desk is not nearly as glamorous as its imposing brick facade, it does let in plenty of natural light. The flush is good for a regular dump. But do expect a toilet bowl that is reminiscent of the eon where the San Francisco 49ers won the Super Bowl. This bathroom is also seldom occupied, and it has about twice as many stalls as the aforementioned location. Talk about free choice! I quite like this bathroom for a few good reasons, but the few are not good enough to justify a visit, in my very biased opinion. However, there is something magical about going number two in the warm glow of the summer sun. With few visitors and no air dryer, this spot is perfect for a midday reflection on the loo. One point for productivity! Show three-summer-internship-Isabelle who’s really winning.  

Ground Floor, Goldring Student Centre 

There is usually a negative correlation between the quality of a bathroom and the age of its building. Among all the sub-ten-year-old buildings on campus, the Goldring Student Centre takes the crown for having the best bathrooms. My favorite is the pair by the west entrance. It sits beneath a spiral staircase, which leads straight to another pair of equally excellent bathrooms. When you are in a hurry to go, the ones by the door will be the ones to save you from nature’s call. Again, there aren’t so many visitors, and the stalls seem to never go out of service. There is some natural light streaming in from small windows, and tons of sanitary products waiting about 50 feet away. Free pads and tampons currently sit in a basket in front of the VUSAC office, but I am hoping this is the year that they will make the great migration to the washroom counter. In addition, this washroom is only a Cheeto’s throw away from the Museum station. There are no washrooms at Museum, so you best visit this spot before starting your hour long commute home.  

Comments are closed.