Upon picking a theme for this issue, the sitcom-lovers in the room won. I can’t say I’ve watched any Seinfeld, but that’s just fine—Jerry’s not the focus here. Longtime readers may remember the “Patchwork” issue from two years ago, an excuse to print whatever wherever. “What’s the deal with… [blank]?” serves a similar function, one loose phrase wrangling a herd of questions you never have time to answer amidst the onslaught of schoolwork.
What’s the deal with the uncomfortably long period of silence among elevator passengers as you ascend to your respective floors? What’s the deal with notification fatigue? What’s the deal with rethinking your program choices in 4th year? What’s the deal with men getting horrible haircuts? What’s the deal with super seniors at freshmen parties? What’s the deal with them ripping out the floors at Caffiends? What’s the deal with shampoo bottles coming only in extra large sizes? What’s the deal with calling men performative males at every which turn? What’s the deal with reducing genuine gestures to “bare minimum?” What’s the deal with film critics showering praise on mediocre films? What’s the deal with people turning to Hinge when they’re bored? What’s the deal with finding your Tinder match’s friends more attractive? What’s the deal with being able to see your friend’s likes on Instagram? What’s the deal with the repost button? What’s the deal with the construction on Hoskin Ave? What’s the deal with them removing the wonderful ice cold water from Ned’s? What’s the deal with the scalpers swooping in to pillage the Vic Book Sale? What’s the deal with upselling vintage clothing? What’s the deal with EJ library closing so early? What’s the deal with no longer being able to stay up until 2 am? What’s the deal with all jobs leading to content creation or AI content writing? What’s the deal with those oddly outdated health ads below articles titled “5 ways to lose bellyfat?” What’s the deal with dorm residents walking in as you’re taking their laundry out of the dryer? What’s the deal with Toronto’s temperamental weather? What’s the deal with spending money every time you leave your home? What’s the deal with NASA’s discovery of signs of life on Mars? What’s the deal with Spotify’s algorithm never giving you new song recommendations? What’s the deal with the best seminars getting shoved into the worst rooms on campus? What’s the deal with the gen Z Brita ads being kind of fire? What’s the deal with dishwashers never reaching the utensils on the top rack? What’s the deal with subscription fees secretly eating away at your finances? What’s the deal with waiting hours upon hours to enter the Criterion Closet? What’s the deal with groups of painfully slow walkers blocking the sidewalk? What’s the deal with those impractical paper straws dissolving in your drink? What’s your deal?
The little grievances and curiosities of everyday life, be it the rats in our student apartments or the shivers of the Northern star, are often lost in the fissures and folds of our minds. Don’t lose sight of the mundane. Snatch those simmering thoughts from your subconscious. Allow yourself just a moment to breathe those questions into being.