What even is MY Roman Empire?

I asked a guy how often he thinks about the Roman Empire, and he replied, “I think about once every two weeks.” At first, I thought he was joking, but I don’t think it’s a joke anymore. Since then, I have been thinking hard: “What is my Roman Empire?” Do I even have one? Buckle up everyone. We’re going on a wild ride inside my head, and we’re going to see what is something I think a LOT about.

Debby Ryan owns a permanent apartment in my head. She is someone who I constantly think about. She is my Roman Empire. She went down to the Disney Channel building, sat down with the president of Disney Channel, and said she wanted to make history, and that’s what this is. This is HER story. There is this one specific moment of her that I think about an embarrassing amount of times daily. During a red carpet, an interviewer asked her about what she was up to, and she replied, “My friends ask me the same question, and by my friends, I mean my mom and my cats, but I have been doing a lot of work, the type of work you can’t see—it’s foundational work—but one day you’ll be like: ‘Woah! That is what she was up to.’ ” Debby, if you’re reading this Queen, when will that day come? When will I see the work you were doing? When will I see you take over the world as you promised? These questions keep me up every night.

Her iconicness doesn’t end here. It’s only the beginning. I saw a video of her saying that she was only vegan for a day until she realised that chocolate cake isn’t vegan. Now, Debby, you do know that vegan chocolate cakes are being made somewhere in the world right now? However, anything she says becomes the truth. If Debby can’t be vegan because of the cake issue, then I can never become vegan too. Whatever she says, I believe. Vegan alternatives to baking a cake? Never heard of them. On the topic of food and red carpets, she is extremely relatable too, because what do you mean she admitted to constantly thinking about getting hot wings as soon as the event was over? I would do the same thing. Hot wings over any fancy event, any time of the day. She is our humble Queen. She once came straight from driving around a beach, eating crappy diner food, to a fancy event. This is the level of icon I aspire to reach when I grow up, and that is why I can never get her out of my head. It’s called manifestation.

All these moments are child’s play to what is coming next. The most ICONIC piece of cinema is actually the Debby Ryan smirk and hair tuck in Radio Rebel. That changed lives. Cinematic history was never the same after that. I often catch myself doing the Debby smirk and tuck unironically many times a day. Her rent was due, unpaid bills piling up, children to look after, cats to feed, the landlord was banging at her door with an eviction notice, and she had one chance to deliver an acting class, and she came prepared. She had one chance to prove herself, and she took it personally. Debby Ryan came to serve, and that is what she did. She lives rent-free in my head 24/7. She is my Roman Empire. And I want everyone reading this to watch Radio Rebel. Appreciate real art, and watch Mother in her element.