The early 2000’s was defined by many things: Juicy Drop Pop commercials; Bratz; Survivor; and, of course, Brendan Fraser. A question that has long perturbed scientists since the Brendanator’s sudden and abrupt disappearance from the screen is: was he ever really famous? If you have ever asked this question, shame on you. And here’s why:
Brendan Fraser was a sex icon. Yeah, I said it! Who else was supposed to play George of the Jungle? Christopher Plummer? No one else could have pulled off the loose, cloth, v-cut T’s he was wearing in The Mummy? Nobody! This is the man who in Journey to the Centre of the Earth starred alongside a post Bridge to Terabithia Josh Hutcherson (when people still thought he was small because he was young). He was interviewed by Carlos from The Zone about this film!! Carlos!!!! They showed a clip of him dodging ground explosions!! He was a Branadian-American GOD!
The greatest piece of evidence I can offer in proving Brendan Fraser’s fame was Looney Tunes Back in Action. He single-handedly brought pseudo-animated movies back into the realm of mediocrity. At one point during the film, his character references being the stunt double for Brendan Fraser, at which point Daffy Duck says: “I can’t see the resemblance.” WOW! He was so famous that they wrote a joke into the movie about his own fame and popularity. He would’ve had to have been famous because otherwise people would have been like: “who the f@*# is Brendan Fraser?” Which nobody did! Obviously! He even ends up meeting himself at the end of the movie! This is a continued bit! They had a feature-length bit about how famous he was! All of this is in a movie starring Steve Martin! Brendan Fraser was more famous than Steve Martin!
People are hungry for Brendan Fraser! We all want a Brend-burger with a side of French Frase! So, Brendan, if you’re listening to The Strand audio issue, come home. We miss you.
(As voiced by Helen Mirren)