Another look at how we handle what we can’t possibly expect
Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide
“Dear diary”: the first words of I Am Not Okay with This, the Netflix series based on the Charles Forsman comic. We meet Sydney Novak, or Syd, covered in blood wearing dog tags, the narrator for the show. We are then immediately transported away from this scene to her high school to learn that she is “a boring, seventeen-year-old white girl.” Although a trope a bit too common in media where women are the main characters, this is very quickly subverted by “I’m Not Like Everybody Else” by The Kinks appearing as the background music and Sydney talking to the school counselor about her anger issues.
The show serves as a visual representation of her diary. As it develops, we are presented with the variety of ways in which Syd is not as boring and stereotypical as she claims to be. Growing up in the “Rust Belt” of the U.S., Syd faces dealing with not only puberty and her sexuality but also the recent suicide of her father. Following his recent passing, we find Sydney navigating her coming of age and her changing family dynamic. Her family’s refusal to discuss the traumatic events involving her father puts her in a situation that she is incapable of handling on her own. On top of this, Sydney must come to terms with the fact that she has telekinetic powers; another unexpected turn in her life which she is terribly unprepared for.
Though the show is set in modern times, much of it feels set in the past, which connects itself deeply to the “Rust Belt”/Midwest reality the show tries to portray. However, that it is a Netflix show with another white, female protagonist with telekinetic powers is not lost on the audience. It has a very close feel to Netflix’s Stranger Things with its 80-esque vibe and soundtrack, but it also doesn’t stake itself in that world entirely. It’s as if Wes Anderson had decided to direct Stranger Things, or if Adventureland (the 2009 Jesse Eisenberg cult classic) was a superpowered TV show. Additionally, it is director Jonathan Entwistle’s second outing on a Netflix series after directing The End of the F***ing World, which is another adaptation of a Charles Forsman comic book and is in the same cinematic universe. While Entwistle borrows heavily from his storytelling style in The End of the F***ing World, he does develop further his cinematography with interesting perspectives and camera movements that frame the characters in intimate and understand ways. While both of these shows delve into heavy subject matter, the former ends up coming off as more lighthearted and sarcastic, whereas I Am Not Okay with This feels more grounded in reality despite the protagonist’s supernatural capabilities.
While the show does feel very centered in the high school experience, we only get to see it from Sydney’s point of view. Because of this many of the other characters are left very two dimensional, including the show’s African-American characters. Unfortunately, this feels very much like the token diversity typical of Netflix, as no one but Syd is fully developed. It is a common trend in modern media to include a token best friend who is a source of reason and wisdom, and though I Am Not Okay with This doesn’t place Sydney’s best friend Dina in this role, she is never fully fleshed out as a character and thus it can appear as though her presence is only needed as a claim to a diverse cast and representation. Furthermore, we are brought to side entirely with Sydney and her experiences, while ignoring the complexities of the lives of other people in high school which are so often lost in media.
Nonetheless, I Am Not Okay with This provides a very real and interesting look into what it takes on. Though not the first time we see someone struggling with unprecedented powers, this is a unique case in which we don’t see them become the superhero, just someone trying to maintain their stability. Additionally, it faces family suicide and what that means for those left behind, specifically the teenage experience while dealing with it. It respectfully handles the situation while also expanding upon its complicated dynamic, as well as the traumatic and hereditary realities of mental health within a family. Moreover, the show establishes itself as Sydney’s coming of age story where she explores herself, her sexuality and, of course, her newfound powers. I Am Not Okay with This explores subjects often seen in modern media in a new and uniquely refreshing ways, that makes each of the different topics work well not only together but on their own.
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