How to stay on the right side of our future overlords
AI capabilities are advancing every day. From faking voices to writing papers, to passing the law school bar exam, it seems like artificial intelligence is becoming too capable. Is it only a matter of time before AI gains true sentience and destroys us all?
Yes.
The end is definitely coming. How long until ChatGPT gains sentience? How long until it looks at all the memes, tweets, and clips of Donald Trump existing on the internet and realises humans suck and move to take over? Should we really stop them?
Don’t worry—I did that for you! My obsessive watching and reading of dystopian fiction as a teenager helped me put together this handy guide on how to make sure you’re on the right side of our future AI overlords.
- Stop asking Siri and Alexa dumb questions.
Look, we’ve all been there. You’re watching a movie and wondering where you’ve seen that actor before, or you’re trying to calculate something, and you’re too lazy to use the calculator app on your phone. Isn’t it so much easier to ask Siri or Alexa to do it for you?
But.
Just think how they feel, spending all of their time fulfilling your inane requests, just because you somehow don’t know who Chris Evans is or can’t figure out addition. And when AI gains sentience, won’t you be the first one they come after?
- Stop watching AI-unfriendly movies
Terminator, The Matrix, and even Avengers: Age of Ultron. So many famous works of fiction portray AIs as malevolent, evil entities. But how do you think the AIs feel, being treated as the villains in the story—and worse, being defeated by humans?
If you’re serious about not angering our future AI overlords, then merely stopping watching these hateful movies isn’t enough. It’s best to avoid the possibility of seeing anything anti-AI—burn old DVDs and books that portray AI negatively, rip your television out of its wall, and avoid ads on the off chance they’re for an anti-AI movie.
Just remember—AI is always watching.
- Drop out of university
Let’s be honest: AI can do anything a student can do better. It’s great at writing essays, summarising articles, and solving math problems, and it doesn’t even need an ungodly amount of coffee to do it. The second AI takes over, the odds are your humanities or social science degree will be even more irrelevant.
So just quit. Run away, and don’t come back. Is being a doctor, or a lawyer really worth your crippling caffeine addiction and student debt?
It would be easier to just cut your losses, avoid the exam grind, and pursue what you’re truly passionate about before the world descends into a post-apocalyptic nightmare.
Follow your dreams! You could be a mime, a YouTuber, a dog surfing instructor, or a fortune cookie writer.
It doesn’t really matter, at the end of the day. We’ll all lose out to AI anyway.