Organ of the week: the placenta

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A biweekly series

The placenta: everyone has one, but almost no one truly understands it. With this piece, we hope to change that. Here are some important facts about the placenta. 

  1. The placenta gets its name from the Latin word for “Mama’s making pancakes.” 
  2. Nobody is sure what the placenta does, but some scientists hypothesize that it plays an important role indetermining whether or not someone is a total nerd.
  3. The popular Drake song “My Placenta is Big and Red and Won’t Stop Vibrating Somebody Please Help” is rumored to be about the placenta. 
  4. Placentas come in three sizes: tall,grande, and venti. Many early civilizations used placenta size as a measure of masculinity.
  5. The placenta was accidentally discovered by Dr.DorothyHurst when she was trying to find a North-West Passage to India. The placenta was mistakenly referred to as “India” for almost 30 years.
  6. Contrary to popular belief, Bill Gates originally coined the term “Microsoft” as an adjective to describe his placenta, not his penis.

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