Ok, listen up, the-great-big-universe, or whatever your stupid name is… I’m doing this to show you that I’m not afraid of putting it all out there. Yeah, you better watch out, because I just learned a new word on #WitchTok and it’s called manifesting. Ha! And you thought no one would find out about your little weakness… Well, I’m maniFESTing alright… Manifesting that YOU BETTER NOT LET THESE HASHTAG-EPIC-FAILS-OF-MY-2020 MAKE A COMEBACK IN MY HASHTAG-NEW-YEAR-NEW-ME 2021 !1!1!!!11!
some stuff that went down in 2020 that could stay down for eternity ifyouknowwhatimean:
1. ate whole a pint of mango ice cream, by myself, at 3am, in bed
2. ate a second pint of coconut ice cream the next afternoon (while organizing my closet—at least i was productive, eh?)
3. badly scratched and dented the side of my dad’s car by trying to take a stupid short cut in the parking lot
4. inflated a car tire with a bicycle pump at 12 am
5. kept the battery running on my dad’s car too long by listening to the radio while the engine was off until it died
6. studied in my car in front of my condo lobby from 10 pm-2 am almost every day during exam season since all the libraries were closed and i couldn’t leave the house during the day
7. (yaa… #6 is probably gonna happen again… the strategy was too effective, what can i say?)
8. spotted a baby raccoon while trying to park my car in my underground parking garage that’s THREE LEVELS BELOW THE GROUND (never in my 20 years of living in condos have i seen a raccoon in the parking lot… how it got past a garage door and 3 ramps is a mystery)
9. actually, #8 was pretty cool lol… i wouldn’t be mad if that happened again ^-^
10. watched 18 episodes of ‘how i met ur mother’ in one sitting then decided “iT’s nOT thE shOW 4 meE” (one of my saddest nights, yikes)
11. started watching Friends for the first time and actually enjoy it… BUT THEN IT GETS REMOVED FROM NETFLIX BEFORE I EVEN FINISH THE FIRST SEASON..??!??
12. washed every piece of grocery that entered my home… please no more of this… my almond milk cartons start leaking after i lather-rinse-repeat them T_T
13. became obsessed with cleaning yet continuously failed to fully deep clean the house since my family is actually a pack of pigs who make messes faster than i can scrub a single floor tile
14. attempted Christmas caroling but suffered a miserably awkward fail
15. late withdrew from an experiential learning course that was completely self-paced bc yes, my level of discipline has dropped below sea level and is bottom-feeding with the anglerfish
16. also NCR’ed a course for the first time within that same semester XDXDXD
17. participated in a painfully awkward virtual improv workshop
18. still chickened out of a sketch comedy audition cuz i was imitated by the potential level of improv (wow i’m such a loser)
my realistic new year’s resolutions:
– actually start an assignment maybe not like 5 MINS BEFORE THE DEADLINE
– find true love
– dye my hair orange
– deliver food on UberEats ($_$)
– start a cover band called The Duvet
– make more unfunny puns