In defense of platonic love

Introduction:

As we sat down to begin writing this piece about the importance of platonic love, we found a shared worry in expressing the significance of friendship outside of a utilitarian and capitalist lens. We believe the true goal of social interaction goes beyond its utility, and to express that, we wanted to form a back-and-forth caricature of two sides on the topic for our reader’s enjoyment.

Perspective #1: “For the friendships which we buy with a price, and do not gain by greatness and nobility of character, though they be fairly earned, are not made good, but fail us when we have occasion to use them.” Niccolò Machiavelli, The Prince. 

What Machiavelli perfectly understood when he wrote The Prince and communicated to his audience in the very prologue, is that the ultimate goal of a statesman—henceforth extrapolated into the fundamental objective in life—is to secure cultural and social power. To navigate the intricacies of social interaction in such a manner that your position is always favoured, and that those around you are meticulously chosen in the name of personal success. There is no better avenue to pursue this fortune than by engaging in friendship. While nothing more than a biological necessity, this form of social interaction will get those who so desire to the summit, and will do nothing more than improve your life. Engaging in friendships for their mere sake is vain, banal, and ultimately, ineffective. 

Perspective #2: “They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style.” – Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City.

In Sex and the City, as in life, friendships are not just important to the narrative of our lives, they are essential. It is our shared social connection that catches your fall in a city always reaching for the sky, they are your partner in late-night chats, belly-laughs over brunch, and new-crush chaos. Our friends surpass mere companions, but if we are lucky, become our chosen family. In a world filled with billions, they make the vastness of existence feel like a cozy Cat’s Eye booth, reminding us that, no matter what, we’re never alone.

Act One: A Mundane Lunch

#1: This is the period where you concentrate on self-fulfillment by broadening your intellectual genius. Brilliance, after all, is only achievable through cultural capital. Thus, it is fundamental to guarantee you are the most knowledgeable in the room, not only about objective statements—although it is necessary to nurture those—but about people’s stories, desires, and objectives. It is not gossip if it has a purpose; gossip is only such because it centers on acquiring banal information. What you must do now is pursue leverage and obtain, if possible, secrets. There is rarely anything else that can guarantee loyalty more than presumed camaraderie over a shared secret. So this is the time where you seek that connection, and facilitate the exploitation of networking entanglements in the future.

#2: Navigating the maze of tables at Burwash Dining Hall, where the clatter of trays and the hum of conversation blend into a symphony of campus life, it’s the moments shared with friends that transform a mundane meal into an unforgettable escape from ‘the grind.’. As we settled into our usual spot, the conversation spiralled into a gossip session that belongs in the headlines of a campus newspaper—if only The Strand could publish such gems. Friends, acting as social lifelines, remind us to breathe, to laugh, and to live beyond the pages of textbooks and the glare of screens. Sitting down, exchanging stories over plates of White-people-taco-night, turns the simple act of eating into an act of connection. In the grand tapestry of university life, it’s these moments of connection that truly nourish us.

Act Two: A Breakup

#1: Love, like all social associations, must be perceived as a means to an end, not as inherently virtuous by itself. Ergo, do not exhibit any evidence of vulnerability, for there is no point in exposing your weakness for a situation that, hereafter, will be unimportant. Do not approach your circle for commiseration, since there is no assurance that they will stay by your side beyond this period of close proximity, and this is not information you want to offer willingly. Albeit, if you must speak about a previous romantic connection, do not exaggerate; share the exact amount of details that will evidence your speedy recovery. No one truly wants to engage in self-pity, after all. 

#2: Under the glow of Bloor Street, where Maddie-goers return in waves, I was spat out by another situationship-gone-by. Friends, as they always do, pulled me ashore with heartfelt offerings of time, empathy, and vindicated yet apologetic “I told you so”s. As the city around us continued its relentless march upwards, my friends and I sank deep into the Cat’s Eye couches and buried ourselves in bean bags. They listened to my endless rants, nodded sympathetically at my dramatic declarations of eternal solitude, and steered me away from the urge to crawl back to an old ghost. Friendship, in its purest form, is not a ledger of debts and credits one must account for. This life is too bountiful in experience for us to endure it alone, but what makes it special are the people we experience it with, and the path we forge together. Friends remind you that life goes on, that laughter is just as healing as tears, and that, sometimes, a pint of ice cream shared in good company can mend a heart better than time alone ever could.