How to be a good dad when your kid is such a little fuck

The Strand’s weekly parenting column

Being a single parent can be pretty tough. You might remember from this column last week that I complained about how all the glass in my house was missing, including the windows. Well this week I found out where the glass went. My son Jucco broke all the glass in the house and hid it under his bed. After I read him his bedtime story, he said he was scared there was a monster under the bed. I, being the anti-monster father I am, laid down on my stomach and checked under the bed and got my hands and my face all torn up by the glass. While I was nursing my wounds, Jucco made himself Nesquik and then he was up all night! What a little fuck. Anyways, that’s Jucco for you, but you already knew that. Haha. Til next week.