On the first day of classes, some students may be distracted by thoughts like, “I hope I do well in this class,” or, “I hope I make friends.” But, in every class, there is always one student who dares to dream a little bigger. In every class, there is a student with one goal, and one goal only: they want to ask questions that will impress the professor. If you are one of those students, then keep reading for instructions on how to ask questions that will get your professors to wonder whether you are an undergrad student or a fellow faculty member.
Average students (not you!) ask questions in order to improve their understanding of the course material. If you want to show the professor that you are on a higher plane than everyone else, ask questions that are only tangentially related to the course. When you ask your professor these types of questions, they will realize that you have already mastered the course material and that you are ready to cure cancer and end world hunger. For bonus points, add a little tidbit of personal information to your questions. These personal tidbits will leave your professor hungry for more, leading them to invite you for coffee.
Here is an example of a question you could ask in a cell biology course: “My second cousin has a rare genetic disease. Do you think there is a way to apply cell biology concepts to find a cure?” You can ask this question even if you don’t know the definition of “genetic” or don’t actually have a second cousin. This question will show the professor that you understand the course concepts so well that you are already applying them toward finding cures for diseases. The tantalizing detail about your second cousin’s wildly uncommon ailment will fascinate your professor, and they will invite you for coffee to ask follow up questions like, “What kind of rare genetic disease?”
Note that this sensually-charged, self-actualized formula can be applied to impress professors in any course. Finally, a word of caution: if you are in a philosophy class, you should first place duct tape on the mouths of all the other students to make sure your question stands out.