Hot (& sexy) take: Bridgerton sucks

Content Warning: Mention and brief descriptions of rape

A couple of weeks ago, I was wasting my evening away on TikTok (as one does) and I came across multiple videos telling me to watch the new Netflix show Bridgerton. Having nothing better to do with my time, I decided to give it a shot. Since it’s February and love is in the air, let me tell you the reasons why I absolutely, positively, and truly hate this show.

First, allow me to introduce you to the character of Eloise, one of the sisters of the main character. After somehow managing to get through six episodes of this show, this is all I know about Eloise: 1) she’s a feminist, 2) she hates marriage, 3) she’s a feminist because she hates marriage. If you’re thinking: Janna, there’s no way that’s everything the show tells you about her, you must not have been paying attention, right? The answer to that is no, that is literally everything the show ever bothers to tell you about her, aside from a few minor quirks. You see, Eloise is the typical caricature of a feminist that the media loves to portray: the one whose feminism relies solely on her hatred of marriage because that’s what feminism is all about, apparently.

Now, I’m fully aware that during the time period in which the show is set, women were generally marrying out of sheer necessity, not love, and that they had very little to no independence, so it’s perfectly reasonable for Eloise to have this pessimistic view of marriage. Even aside from that, a woman not wanting to get married is perfectly fine. However, my problem is not with the fact that Eloise hates marriage, my problem is with the fact that she equates being a feminist with hating marriage and uses this belief as justification for bullying other women who don’t share her beliefs. Throughout the show, we constantly see Eloise fighting with and straight up bullying her sister Daphne because she wants to get married, and the show quite obviously tries to convince you that Eloise’s outlook is the only correct one because her “holier-than-thou” attitude is never really challenged.

Frankly, I’m just so sick of seeing this idea portrayed in the media: that wanting to get married and being a feminist are mutually exclusive. They’re not. All that the reinforcement of this idea does is continue to pit women against one another and ridicule women for their choices, instead of encouraging any real change to the sexist ideals traditionally based in marriage or in other institutions. But I mean, what did I expect from a show that thinks feminism is sprinkling in the sentence “iS It BeCaUsE iM a GiRL?!?” after every other line.

If I thought Eloise was bad, though, then I certainly was not prepared for the shit-show that is the main character herself: Daphne.  I was under the impression that we had moved past the need for a not-like-other-girls protagonist, but apparently, I was wrong, because shows like Bridgerton still think that this is the type of girl that young women should root for. In one of the earlier episodes, our dear Daphne makes fun of one of the other girls for pretending to be a damsel in distress in front of the Prince so that she can grab his attention and does so in the company of Simon, the main love interest. Of course, Simon only “encourages” her pick-me behavior, and the scene is meant to act as a cutesy bonding moment, one that the audience is supposed to find romantic because awww look, they’re bonding (over their mutual hatred of other women)!!

Scenes such as this one are disappointing because I think the show missed the chance to have nuanced conversations regarding why Daphne felt the need to make fun of the other girls in the first place and maybe even to have her realize that, let’s face it, almost every woman was a pick-me at that time because they had to be, so maybe, just maybe, she shouldn’t judge other women. But, alas, the show paints her pick-me tendencies as romantic banter that she shares with her significant other.

The thing that bothered me the most about Daphne, however, is the way that her character glamorizes and promotes the “pure, virgin, good girl” trope to a truly disturbing extent. From the beginning, Daphne is painted as super innocent and completely unknowledgeable about anything related to the topic of sex, so much so that the audience has to sit through multiple awkward and cringy scenes where her mother and Simon have to essentially give her the birds and the bees talk. The thing is though, Daphne is so clueless to the point where imagining her getting into any sort of sexual relationship feels wrong because I don’t want to “root” for two characters to get together like that if one party is so extremely uneducated about sex. If the show had used her “innocence” as an opportunity to educate her and emphasize the importance of sexual awareness, this would be another story; but it seems like the show only added these sex-ed scenes to prey off of the virgin/pure = good/desirable trope—and, subsequently, any sexual activity that Daphne partakes in feels deeply uncomfortable to watch.

Speaking of sex, this show sets the most unrealistic expectations for young women, particularly heterosexual women, about what sex—and especially sex for the first time—is actually like. Let me get this straight: I’m supposed to believe that the girl who five minutes ago had no idea what sex even is is able to have multiple earth-shattering orgasms in succession? (Yes, I’m referring to the 365 Days rip-off that is episode six.) I really tried suspending my disbelief and convincing myself that this is somewhat realistic, but when I happen to know that one study has shown that only six percent of participating women said they were able to reach orgasm just from penetration, and another one shows that among gay, lesbian, bisexual, and heterosexual men and women, heterosexual women are the least likely to reach orgasm during sex—I just can’t let it slide. I know that it’s just a show and this is probably not that deep, but when shows like Bridgerton choose to feature a fifteen-minute sex montage (that consists of just penetration) yet fail to consider any of these statistics, they’re actively contributing to the spread of misinformation on a topic that is already highly stigmatized, and are setting up young women for disappointment. (Especially since the love interest literally lasts a maximum of eight seconds… but hey, who am I to judge.)

You might be thinking that I’m taking the show too seriously since it’s just supposed to be mindless fun, and you may be right, but there is one thing that I just cannot look past and it is the thing that made me stop watching the show: the show’s weird attempt at glamorizing/justifying rape. In one of the earlier episodes, Simon tells Daphne that he cannot have children, which she, naturally, takes to mean that he is unable to bear children, and she resigns herself to the fact that they won’t have children even though that’s all she wants. However, she later finds out that he actually can have children, he just doesn’t want any, and she finally understands why each time they have sex, he pulls out before he climaxes (because, in case you guys forgot, our pure, innocent Daphne knows nothing about sex and, thus, did not question this behavior before then.) 

Daphne’s solution to the fact that Simon lied to her is to force him to climax inside of her, something that is clearly done without his consent–which is rape. Simon did not know Daphne’s intentions when they initiated the act and was visibly trying to pull himself out, but she holds him in place. I’ll admit, I stopped watching the show after this occurred so I have no idea how Daphne’s actions were dealt with, but considering the way the show handled all of the other aspects I mentioned, I doubt that her actions were blatantly portrayed as wrong or that she was in any way reprimanded for them. Since it’s also a romance show, I’m almost certain the two characters still remained together after she did this, and that tells me all I need to know about the way the show handled this topic.

I genuinely do not know why the producers felt compelled to include a scene like this one and expected us to continue rooting for this couple after it. I know for a fact that if the roles were reversed, this scene would not have made it into the show or if it had, the show would have received way more backlash for it. The only message that I took away from this scene is that, essentially, it’s okay to do something like this without your partner’s consent if they lied to you. This scene did not need to be in the show; Daphne could’ve confronted Simon (like any normal person would have) and the show could have taken this opportunity to send a valuable message to the people watching, but instead they chose to grossly manipulate the audience in the name of… love, I guess?

So, what have we learned from this? That you probably shouldn’t watch TV shows with me because I’ll take them way too seriously? Possibly. That I’m definitely very fun at parties? Certainly. Jokes and more serious points aside, though, I do get why people like this show and I’ll admit, it did have its fun moments like giving us a classical rendition of Taylor Swift’s Wildest Dreams. However, I feel like a show made in the year 2020, even if it is just mindless fun, should handle topics related to love and sex in a much better way than it did, especially since shows like this are almost always the ones that go viral and reach a wider audience.

Suffice it to say I will not be taking TV show recommendations from TikTok any time soon, especially not ones of the romantic kind, and I sincerely hope that you all have a Valentine this year so you can all finally acknowledge that this show is just not that good.