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Dear Miss Abbie,
I’ve been having a rough time and need some advice. I just joined Code Academy to learn to use Python. I think the machines are going to take my job as a hole puncher so I need to get ahead of the game. Anyway, I keep getting these emails from the founder, Zach, encouraging me to “put programming on my resume” and “put myself on a path to a brilliant new career.” It seems like he’s really invested in my livelihood with all these notifications, even if he’s being professional about it. Is there something caring and warm underneath his cool and collected façade? Is this the start of something new? I’m so confused. I think maybe I’d be into him if he’d just let his guard down, but I don’t want to seem desperate. Should I email him back? Please help a confused sister!
From,
Conflicted and Curious
Dear Miss Curious,
Look at you, getting into the coding game this late! It takes courage to chase after a bus that left ten years ago. Everyone loves a lady with initiative and the resolve not to become a victim of automation. See, your predicament reminds me of the summer of ’67, when my one-woman trapeze act was travelling through small villages in Italy. Sergio, the motel barman, was such a dark and mysterious figure, with a jaw that just wouldn’t quit. I was also in my prime, my glutes the strongest they’d ever been. But I will admit—and this may come as a surprise to you—my trapeze act was not getting the positive response I was expecting. When I confided in Sergio after ten shots that I might quit, he shrugged and said, “Mama must eat.” He was so noncommittal, I was smitten. So, Miss Curious, I suggest you test the waters. Why not? Perhaps he will also promise to let you meet his mother and then not show up under the lemon tree he told you to meet at. Or, he might not! Shoot your shot, Miss Curious. Life is a trapeze act—uncertain, and usually leaving you with chronic back pain, anyways.
Loooooove,
Miss Abbie
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