Witches. Zombies. Skeletons. Ghosts. Traditional Halloween costumes are simply not relatable, nor scary, to the average UofT student. (Except for ghosts—as a Trinity College student, I am all too familiar with ghosts. I don’t want to talk about it). Ditch the boring stuff and opt for some costumes that will really freak everyone out!
1. Finance Bro Who Wears a Suit to Lecture for Some Reason
Why is he wearing a suit for the fourth day in a row? How many suits does he own? Does he need to go to the dry cleaner every day for his weirdly large suit collection? These are the horrifying questions that echo through everyone’s minds as you strut across campus with your hands clasped together, taunting the streets of Toronto with your business prowess.
2. Awkward First Year at Orientation
All you need is a college-specific shirt, a college-specific lanyard, a college-specific PopSocket, and a demeanor that says, “Where am I? Who are you? Please help me.” Target your gaze at any unsuspecting student and ask them “What’s your name? What’s your program? What college are you in?” in rapid succession, then immediately forget everything they say in response.
3. King’s College Circle Construction Cones
Get together with your friend group in neon orange attire and parade around King’s College Circle while UC students walk around you and pretend you’re not ruining their dark academia aesthetic! For a convincing performance, you might have to stay there for another Halloween. Or two. Or five! Soon, it’ll feel like you’ve been there forever…
4. Campus Squirrel Who Stares into Your Soul as it Slowly Eats an Acorn
A scenic stroll through Philosopher’s Walk can quickly go awry after locking eyes with a UofT squirrel. Any old squirrel costume will do here, but to truly commit to playing the part, you must stare at all passersby with the intensity of a thousand suns whilst solemnly munching on your favorite snack. You are not afraid of them. They should be afraid of you. You will steal their soul. You are the squirrel. The squirrel is you.