This goes out to all the Libras in my life, whom I love and cherish very much… SIKE! You thought you guys were slick, but I’m onto you!!
Before you think I’m insane, let me explain. I have conducted a thorough investigation, based on multiple all-too-similar occurrences in my life, and have come to the conclusion that I am being haunted by Libras. That’s right. I firmly believe that all the Libras of the world have a secret vendetta against me, and I am on a mission to find out what it is. Don’t believe me? Here’s my evidence.
Exhibit A: Throughout my childhood, almost every close friend I had was a Libra. I’ve counted three, including the ones that didn’t work out, but I’m certain there are more.
Exhibit B: Then, high school came around and I switched schools. Guess what? The literal first friend I made at that school, as well as my closest friend, were both Libras. You’d think that by this point, I would’ve learned to sniff out Libras from a mile away, but, in my defense, I did not think that these quirky coincidences would snowball into whatever evil master plan Libras seem to have for me.
Exhibit C: Okay, okay, high school is over now and I’ve moved to university. Again, the first friend I made at UofT is a Libra. Now, I was fine with this at first, but this past summer was the last straw. I met someone who, as “fate” would have it, I was going to be working with for the coming year. Naturally, I ask them what their sign is and Guess. What. They. Say!! Coincidence? I think not!! There is no logical reason that one person should know this many Libras. It’s disturbing, it’s uncanny, and it’s unnatural!!
Based on this evidence, I’m also forced to conclude that in a parallel universe, Kim Kardashian (notorious Libra) and I are best friends and I don’t know how to feel about that…
I always hear people say that their personal hell consists of them being trapped in a small room or being forced to listen to “Dance Monkey” on repeat, and while those are both horrendous options, my answer is neither of those. No, my own personal hell consists of a Libra repeatedly replying with “idk, you pick” when I ask them where we should eat, causing me to start violently sobbing, as I slowly descend into madness.
So if you’re one of the Libras I know, you better sleep with one eye open because I’m watching you and I’m onto you.