Do y’all remember Vine? That magical app of six-second videos, once all the rage, which has since faded into obscurity? The day Vine ceased to exist was the day that real talent died. Vine was my only chance of getting six seconds of real fame. With a heavy heart but resilient spirit, I’ve embarked on a quest to find the fastest and easiest ways to get famous in this day and age. To discover foolproof methods of success, I have opted to use AI to guide my strenuous research. So, enjoy the fruits of my labour: here are all the methods suggested by ChatGPT to get famous—and don’t worry, all of them have been tried and tested by my minions!
TikTok on the clock
ChatGPT suggested Vine’s arch nemesis as the first source of fame. It’s a simple formula: download the app, make a video and upload, right? That’s what user @getalife thought. They downloaded the app, and, from their limited knowledge of TikTok, they knew that viral dances were all the rage. With their eyes on the prize, they recorded themselves doing the Cha Cha Slide to Ke$ha’s superhit “TiK ToK” (quite millennial behaviour, if you ask me). Needless to say, the video ended up on the wrong side of TikTok, and instead of becoming a dance icon, they became a pathetic meme. So, I’d say it was a success in a twisted way.
Podcasting Shenanigans
One of the things ChatGPT suggested was to “create original content,” and what is more original than producing a podcast narrating your life stories? Everyone loves a good story time—at least, that’s what user @sorrynotfound thought. He was ambitious, he craved instant fame. Next thing you know, he had purchased a mic set and prepared dozens of stories to narrate. Nobody knows what demon possessed him with the thought that it would be a good idea to record himself playing a round of ‘smash or pass’ for furniture pieces. Y’all guessed it, it was a major fail (deserved). Nobody wanted to hear why the coffee table is a pass while the dining table is a smash. Weird time. Instant fail, please don’t try this at home. We do not endorse any of this.
Foot fetish is real
ChatGPT also suggested being creative when searching for a platform for fame. User @iheartcats found that she could become famous by selling pictures of feet. Modelling feet and exposing them to the dark market gave her temporary fame, but now all she’s left with are pedicured toes, irreversible knowledge of the dark side, and a camera roll filled with different angles of tiny feet (gross). Now might be the right time to tell y’all that the user misunderstood the market and started selling pictures of her cat’s furry paws. 0/10, would definitely not recommend.
Warning—spam ahead
Posting consistently on social media is the easiest way to get famous, according to ChatGPT. User @nothinghappenshere took it upon herself to spam her entire Instagram feed with oddly angled selfies—like, the type where you angle the camera on top of your head, making you look like a frog. Everyday, at the exact same time, she’d post a selfie with the same exact caption: “Day X of selfiegram” (yikes). Obviously, this scared people off instead of attracting them, so in my books it’s a major fail. We hope this user discovers newer angles of selfies and exploits them to the fullest before actually becoming famous.
It’s safe to say that most of the shortcuts to fame given by ChatGPT depend on how you interpret them. It’s all in the execution, fellas. So, if you ever need to become famous, just be sure to avoid the mistakes made by our users. And when you do become famous, don’t you dare forget about us <3.