Everyday I wake up.
–—That’s it. That’s the end of my article for this month. You happy now, Stranded Editor James Hannay?
Just kidding, of course I will write more for this article. Flow-writing Stranded articles is my stupid little task every month. I even look forward to it (although it’s usually done at the last minute and I just assemble brain vomit onto a page and make it look pretty).
I have a lot of stupid little tasks that keep me going. I don’t have hobbies–what even is a hobby? Where do you get one? What do I do with it? Can someone please explain to me how people are able to harvest utility from their so-called “hobbies” for sustained periods of time?
Somebody needs to resurrect Jeremy Bentham’s dead, pickled body to help me understand.
Prior to writing this article, I asked myself: “What do I do in quarantine?”, to which I responded (also to myself, because we are in Stage Red and I will not be interacting with anyone but my roommate in the foreseeable future): “All I do is study.”
Then I realised (again, by myself, for obvious reasons related to COVID-19) that I cannot write a humour article about studying. U of T Grind Culture is Toxic and we are already going through so much with quarantine, this shouldn’t be a competition.
Instead, here is my “best of” list for my everyday stupid little tasks, sans studying.
Everyday, I…
- Wake up.
I wake up, usually around 9:30am, and head downstairs to assemble my stupid little breakfast, which usually consists of Quakers oats with dark chocolate chips and fruit, or Greek yoghurt with dark chocolate chips and fruit. Then I drink tea with honey and my stupid little Earth’s Own So Fresh oat milk.
One morning, I encountered my roommate making coffee in the kitchen. She looked me dead in the eye, and without saying good morning or any other greeting you’d normally say when seeing your favourite person for the first time in the day, said,
“None of this is real. None of us exist.”
I responded, “true.” Then she went back upstairs.
2. Scream.
The U.S. presidential election, haha, am I right?
3. Walk
After lunch, I go on my state-mandated walk of the day. I walk to the lake and look at all of the seagulls and boats and pretend that I’m the Main Character of an insidiously overdone and hyper-individualistic TikTok that contributes nothing of significance to the betterment of society…
But since I’m near a body of water, I’m on the Nautical Side of TikTok! Ahoy there, mateys!
4. Journal.
My diary reads a lot like my Stranded posts, even more so now that it’s quarantine. I list off my stupid little tasks and acknowledge that journaling is, in itself, a stupid little task. I summarize all the stupid little tasks I’ve done and all the stupid tasks I plan to do. It’s equal parts calming and overwhelming.
5. Cook.
Okay, this is one stupid little task that I genuinely enjoy. I could cook before, but during quarantine I have become exceptionally good at cooking—like, Masterchef good. My roommate and I have made shakshuka, kimchi fried rice with mozzarella melted on top, lentil curry, katsudon, etc.
6. Watch a ridiculous number of vlogs by Pretty Girls who are Multilingual, Academic, Artistic, and Self-Reflective.
This is my favourite side of YouTube. If you aren’t on Renaissance-Woman-Pretty-Girl YouTube, you need to get on it immediately. My favourite vloggers are Leah’s Fieldnotes and Moya Mawhinney, but I’m pretty sure I’m subscribed to, like, at least 15 different Pretty Girl vloggers.
I’ve seen so many of these videos, I have become exceptionally good at bullet journaling and decorating my room. I’m a “visual learner,” as they say… Or whatever alternative pseudo-science explanation you’d prefer to justify my ability to absorb information.
There you have it, mY FAvouRIte sTupID liTTle tASKs!
What are YOUR stupid little tasks? Comment your favourites below.
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