Eat my dick: a recipe

Yeah, you heard me

Planning a dinner party? You can never go wrong with a classic dick recipe. Everything is better with cock—especially when it’s maple-glazed cock. Here’s a helpful little recipe for eating my dick! 

Ingredients

1 dick (mine) 

2 cups of suck my butt 

1 large your mom 

3 teaspoons of go fuck yourself in your ugly face you cum dumpster 

1 sprinkle of literally no one gives a FUCK 

1 sprinkle of literally no one would care if you died 

Directions

1. The last time I was at your house I rubbed your toothbrush in my asscrack.
2. Your friends don’t really like you they just feel obligated to spend time with you.
3. Your ex’s new boyfriend is way hotter than you and has a bigger cock and is better at sex.
4. Your grandpa faked his own death to avoid spending time with you.
5. Eat. My. Dick. 

Serves: you.