Illustration | Yilin Zhu
VUSAC’s new Vic merchandise line will expand this summer to include Vic snapbacks, Vic joggers, too-small Vic beanies, and a gold-plated Vic vape in the shape and likeness of our blessed Northrop Frye’s head.
The Vic merch line debuted in December of last year. It featured crewneck sweaters, tees, pennants, a toque, and other collegiate apparel. Improvements and expansions to the line were featured in both presidential candidates’ platforms in the recent VUSAC elections.
What was NOT foretold in the platforms, however, is the spontaneous addition of “Vicspreme” items to the line, fam! Starting in September these sweet pieces will be available for purchase in the VUSAC office during office hours, as long as printing is working, jheez. While student reception to the new items has been mixed, the much-anticipated VicVape is clearly the star of the show.
Plated in 24K gold, the VicVape is the only vape for a true Vic vaper. It’s life-sized and shaped exactly like Northrop Frye’s head, molded from the statue on campus. It’s easy to use: you just squeeze Northrop’s little nose and suck the vapour right out of his mouth, in a passionate vape-y kiss between just you and him. For added flair, Northrop’s eyes glow a deep scarlet during use. The best part? Try tweaking Northrop’s ear to hear one of seven pre-recorded Frye phrases, including:
“The world of literature is a world where there is no reality except that of the human imagination.”
“The most technologically efficient machine that man has ever invented is the book.”
“If you say, I believe in God, you have already suggested the possibility of not believing in him.”
I asked my boy James Hannay, a second-year Vic student studying Vapology, what he thought of the new items. “If you want my honest opinion, I think Vic lacks ‘clout’ in the modern sense, my guy. Northrop Frye and his ideas have aged well, but they need a modern spin. I think to any modern Vic student looking to ‘fueg’ out their rigs, the gold-plated VicVape™ is essential. Keeping the face of the big NF vaping, means that Vic is always vaping, and that means clout is always increasing, family.”