As I say farewell to my days of Cinema Studies at the University of Toronto, I wanted to offer a visual syllabus ofn the forefathers of film theoryfilm theory’s forefathers. Here’s a crash course in film studies, pointing out the commonalities shared by this group of mostly- French men named Jean, who pioneered commentary on the visual medium we all know and love, and smoked a lot of cigarettes in front of blackboards with French words on them.
Hegel
Don’t quite remember why we had to learn about Hegel in film studies, but the man sure knew how to make a striking profile. Those eyes.
Sigmund Freud
Like Hegel, wasn’t alive during the age of film, but truly made an impression on the future men of the medium. Film theorists’ longstanding fixation with oral fixation began with this man’s influence, as you can infer from the visual reference.
Andre Bazin
The founder of the essential introduced us to a lot of really interesting movies— – really, all of them are so interesting! Maybe you guys have heard of Jean- Luc Godard? Great guy, anyway here’s Bazin.
Roland Barthes
You’ve probably encountered this sly motherfucker in other courses, and can probably tell from the IDGAF look on his face that Barthes that he has shaped modern semiotics and visual theory. Again, not a film theorist per se, but we still had to talk about him a lot, and from his look it’s pretty clear that Roland B. fits right in.
Orson Welles
I don’t know if you guys have heard of this movie called Citizen Kane. I would understand if you haven’t, as not many people have taste outside of cinema studies besides Michael Bay and Adam Sandler movies, but it’s really one of the greatest of all time, about a guy who’s really sad and builds a zoo around himself while he yells at all his wives and his best buddy. But it’s because his mom threw out his sled when he was a kid or something. He’s basically the first person who ever used deep focus and it’s all in black and white. Anyway, here’s the man himself.
Jean- Luc Godard
Not a theorist per se but truly the greatest filmmaker since Orson Welles, only kind of better because he really pioneered the medium by doing things like jump cuts and disrespecting a lot of women. Here’s the OG himself— – don’t forget, he’s also a good person who loves dogs.
Peter Wollen
Wollen distances himself from the rest of the bunch by being British, wearing plaid, having a lot of not gray hair and rolling his sleeves up like a chiller. Truly a manA man truly ahead of his time.
Jacques Marie ÉEmile Lacan
Yes, Lacan’s middle name is Marie. The size of this man’s cigar really emphasiszes his importance to the history of film theory. Without him I would never have realized that every cinematic experience is really a reflection of the viewers’ castration anxiety and if that doesn’t apply to you, well, I don’t know what to say. Maybe you just haven’t watched a movie.
Laura Mulvey
Formative feminist film theorist Laura Mulvey conceptualiszed the term “male gaze” with her essay “Visual Pleasures in Narrative Cinema,” which every student probably has to read about 12 times in their Cinema degree. Couldn’t find a snap of Mulvey with any form of tobacco; not sure what else she lacks in common with the rest of the group.
I realize that this is supposed to be satirical but the best satire should be factually accurate — or else be overtly ironic. The statement above — “Sigmund Freud: Like Hegel, wasn’t alive during the age of film…” — is not accurate.
Freud’s best work, beginning with THE INTERPRETATION OF DREAMS (1900), was written during the construction of the codes and conventions of classical Hollywood cinema. He died in 1939. Apparently, he saw many movies and even commented on them (UN CHIEN ANDALOU; SECRETS OF A SOUL). He was so esteemed in the film industry that Sam Goldwyn supposedly offered him a job as script consultant.