no way these are real
Dear Sceptics, I see you. I get you. I, too, am sceptical of all of these things, but I will try to make some sense of them for you. They should not exist, but yet they do, which means there is an answer. Celena always has the answer. Email me your burning questions at [email protected] and I will try my best.
Reader #1: Have you ever met a nice goose???
I don’t believe these creatures are what we think they are. I, for one, have never met a nice goose before. I used to throw Cheerios at them on the lakeside. They would honk at me. It was loud, obnoxious, and aggressive. I was scared of them. As much as I wanted them to like me, their minds would remain unchanged. I never understood them until now. At the ripe age of 21 years old, I too, love eating dry cereal and honking loudly at people who stand too close to me. Nice geese do not exist because they are the true haters of the animal kingdom. Geese are like ducks, but if ducks hated their existence. They serve no purpose other than to be haters, and I respect them for that. Geese are an immovable force and I do not possess the force to move them.
Reader #2: No way blue whales are the biggest animal ever to exist. No way.
As for blue whales, I agree. There has to be something bigger right? Well, I am sad to report that the blue whale is certainly the biggest. As a registered whale expert, I can confirm this is true because of the salt water. Have you ever had those little tablets that you would put in a glass of water and after a while a sponge animal would expand? Blue whales reach this size because they are actually sponge animals in a little tablet that you purchase from the dollar store impulse section. They absorb the salt and are able to grow into a really really really really really big thing. Whales also really like salt so this is why. This is a recent discovery made by me, and my sources are me. I will not elaborate further. Hope this helps!
Reader #3: Airplanes—we were not meant to fly
I will never be able to understand planes, but let me try to explain them in the simplest terms. Big human bones are heavy. Planes go fast. Planes carry humans really fast and the wind goes whoosh and creates lift under the plane. Human
bones are no longer heavy. Flying!
Reader #4: No way Celena is too busy to hang out with me that’s messed up
Um this is true. Sorry. Call again tomorrow to check for availability. xoxo
Reader #5: Registrars
This is most definitely not about anyone in particular but I have spoken to a registrar from my college before and they
made me burst into tears. But don’t fret! There was another person that I spoke to who was extremely helpful, kind, and took their time explaining things to me. There are useful registrars out there! Do not lose hope! Just don’t speak to the one that interrupts you mid-sentence to point out a cool pin on your jacket.
Reader #6: No way matter is not created nor destroyed. How do plants grow? How do PEOPLE grow ???
Yeah so this is actually because—