Bridging the gap

What does it mean to feel a city? 

home 

noun 

1. the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household. 

This is the definition of “home” as given by the Oxford English Dictionary. However, after I returned home to Calgary, Alberta for the holidays, the true meaning of this word has become more obscured for me. On my first night back in Calgary, I was explaining to my mother that I had forgotten my toothpaste in Toronto, yet I told her that I had left it “at home.” A moment of stunned silence gathered between us followed by awkward laughter as we both realized what I had just said. Clearly, on some level, I considered my residence at UofT to be home, but then what did that make the house I had grown up in? Can a person really have two homes?  

Surely many students in residence, even if they are originally from Toronto, understand this sentiment of “home” as simultaneously being both UofT and their family household. Being back on campus has made the divide between the two homes even clearer for me. In Calgary, both my family and the friends who returned from other schools have no relation to the everyday elements of my Toronto life. Whether it be the annoyance of trying to safely cross Queen’s Park or the bizarre roaring box outside of the ROM that showcases its dinosaur exhibit, almost no one back home has any conception of what a regular day at UofT is like. Simultaneously, few people at school fully grasp the concept of the Calgary Stampede or know what a Flames game at the Saddledome feels like.  

So how can I begin to approach the chasm between who I am in my life at UofT and who I am in my hometown? It’s a question whose enormity reaches beyond me, but I have figured out a couple of ways to handle its size. Firstly, what is most important is not having an absolute continuity between my Calgary and Toronto lives. The continuity that does matter is the ongoing presence of a sense of belonging to whichever home I find myself in. Between my two homes, one is not more real than the other. I belong in both of them, simply in different ways. Secondly, it is about mindset, believing that anywhere can become a home if I have an attitude of open-mindedness and patience. Even though I have undergone changes and life experiences that those from my Calgary life will not be able to fully relate to, that is not what is most important. It would be unreasonable of me to expect my understandings of Calgary and Toronto to always flow together harmoniously. What does matter is continuously feeling that I have a place in both cities. 

Not only is it possible to have two homes, but it can also be a good thing. I have learned to carry myself with confidence in order to cross the divide between my homes, and I hope the same is true for other UofT students. If the common denominator of care is present in both places I live, that is certainly more than enough to bridge the gap.