In light of its recent election results, the American electorate looks forward to crediting/no crediting the 2016 election. After using fake sources, binge watching celebrity TV, and underestimating the importance of an election altogether, America has concluded that it would be best if this one were omitted from the ol’ transcript.
America, disgruntled but mostly just disappointed in herself, attributes part of the failure to her female professor, whose shrill voice and lack of inexperience was uninspiring and, frankly, unrelatable. “If only we had that old, male, fun, socialist prof from Vermont,” the nation bemoaned, “At least he wasn’t so woman-like.” America instead sought advice from an orange frat boy, whose understanding of the subject was as limited as his understanding of consent.
The country’s registrar has since suggested that she enroll in Political Science, Women and Gender Studies, and Wilderness Survival to prepare her for the next four years.
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