INT. MANSION IN ROME—NIGHT
JAMES BOND (poised, icy) steps softly towards WIDOW (beautiful, haughty), who stands against the opposite wall. As he approaches, she whips open a black lace fan and holds it over her face. BOND is, as usual, completely unfazed.
BOND
All I need is simple answer, signora. I assure you, it would be in your best interest to speak now.
The WIDOW fans herself vigorously, avoiding BOND’s piercing gaze. He continues forward, steadily, Britishly.
BOND
I’ll ask again.
He is now directly in front of the WIDOW, mere inches from her face. He speaks softly.
BOND
How did your husband…
BOND slides his fingers around the WIDOW’s wrists.
BOND
…ever manage to…
BOND raises the WIDOW’s arms over her head. The fan falls to the ground. She stares into his eyes (they are still piercing). He leans closer.
BOND
…fulfill all of the University of Toronto’s degree requirements, including the transfer of credits from abroad, all in four years?
The WIDOW gasps and wrenches her arms from BOND’s grasp. She clutches her heart.
WIDOW
My husband left that struggle behind many moons ago! Do not trouble me with it now. It is worthless to ask, Mr. Bond. Kill me, if you like. I will carry his secret to my—
BOND lays a rugged yet gentlemanly hand on her cheek. Slowly, suavely, he puts his lips beside her ear and exhales. Immediately, the WIDOW trembles and flings her hand up to her forehead. BOND catches her as she slides down the wall.
WIDOW
Oh! All right! I will tell you everything! You must get your courses approved by multiple departments using specific documentation and paperwork. Even then your courses may not count towards your major until after many negotiations with administration, and only a limited number will count towards the number of advanced-level credits required to graduate!
Beat. BOND blinks twice. Then he runs his finger over the WIDOW’s collarbone.
BOND
And what of the requirements for my major, SPYMAJ007?
WIDOW
You must select 1.5 credits from Group 1, 0.5 credits from Group 4, 1.0 credits from Group 6—
BOND shakes his head and covers her mouth with his hand, which he quickly turns into a caress down to her jaw.
BOND
(forcing his voice into a seductive whisper)
But what if Degree Explorer does me no good because my foreign credits have not transferred?
WIDOW
(gazing into his eyes)
Then you’re on your own, Mr. Bond.
BOND stares at the wall above the WIDOW’s head, calculating, compulsively stroking her shoulders.
BOND
There must be an easier way.
WIDOW
If there was, my husband would have found it!
BOND fixes her with his most piercing of gazes and leans towards her until their lips are nearly touching. Suavely, he exhales again. Nothing. BOND frowns and holds her at arms length. She gazes up at him through dark lashes, impassive as ROSI on course selection day.
BOND runs his hand over his forehead and sighs. He turns from the WIDOW and walks towards the door.
WIDOW
And don’t forget your breadth requirements, Mr. Bond.
BOND flinches. Then he shakes himself, opens the door, and steps into the inky veil of night, black as the prospect of an unnecessary fifth year.
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