From UofT’s self-declared trend forecaster
Yes, she’s a first-year undergraduate student from the Midwest whose music taste is still stuck in 2014, but she’s also UofT’s self-declared trend forecaster. This is Audrey Lai’s official and definitive list of what’s hip and cool in 2023 and what’s not.
IN: Watching Family Guy unironically
It starts innocently, with a single clip of Stewie Griffin’s devious antics stitched to a video of Subway Surfers gameplay on your TikTok ‘For You’ page. It ends with watching Season 19, Episode 15: “Customer of the Week” during movie night (which is a fantastic episode, by the way). You tell yourself it’s ironic, but you catch yourself more than slightly amused at Quagmire’s ‘giggitys’ and even shedding a tear watching an edit of Lois Griffin set to a Lana Del Rey song. Admitting that Family Guy is funny is just the tip of the iceberg: I will be binging all 21 seasons and counting this year.
OUT: Checking Quercus
Why let the “Submission Posted” notification on Canvas make you scream, cry, and throw up? Turn those bad boy notifications off and enjoy your academic year. Why should I care that the so-called final paper “deadline” is “tomorrow”? Ignorance truly is bliss—until you have to “apply to an internship” or “go to grad school” or “get a job,” whatever that means.
IN: CD Collecting
If you think I’m paying $39.99 for a vinyl, you are out of your mind. I don’t care that the “sound quality” is better; you and I both know that whenever someone asks me a short, simple question I yell “WHAT?” two to three times until I get embarrassed and then just nod excessively like a bobblehead in a car going 80 mph.
OUT: TikToks tricking relatives into thinking their favourite celebrities are dead
This trend was all fun and games until I imagined my future grandchild shoving an iPhone 42 in my face reading, “Taylor Swift dead at 89” and then hysterically laughing when I fall to the floor in distress. Not so funny now, is it?
IN: Panera Charged Lemonade
Who needs sleep when you can down 260 mgs of caffeine in one regular-sized cup? I can just feel my needs bar going up, like in the hit life-simulation video game The Sims (my Sims addiction might be the cause of my lack of sleep, but that’s besides the point).
OUT: In-N-Out
I’ve actually never been to In-N-Out, but West Coasters always rub it in our faces like it’s all that. Jealous?! I’m not jealous. Does In-N-Out have a Coke Freestyle soda machine like Five Guys does? No? I didn’t think so. Next time you find a Coke Zero Raspberry anywhere on the West Coast, let me know, because until then, I’m not stepping foot into an In-N-Out out of sheer principle.
IN: Addison Rae
Hear me out. Drop whatever you’re doing, open YouTube right now, and listen to her unreleased song “Nothing On But the Radio.” Her 2022 red carpet looks and Paris Hilton-esque street style prove she’s an “It Girl” in the making and that her TikTok dance career will be considered high camp in a matter of months.
OUT: Ins and Outs Lists
This is the last acceptable one. All other Ins and Outs lists are boring, lame, and OUT.