A practical guide for the prudent student
- Talk to a friend. Sometimes all you need is a little support from a loved one to get some perspective. A good friend can remind you of their unconditional love for you. They can tell you to ‘cheer up’ and ‘stop being sad.’ And you’ll feel less alone when they share their own, much worse problems that, frankly, you can’t hold a candle to. Besides, who are you to complain when they’re going through so much?
- Get some exercise. This is a good one. Go for a walk and feel the winter air biting at your cheeks and take some time to appreciate the beauty of our campus. Or, hit the gym. No better distraction from mental pain than physical pain, and intense physical activity can release endorphins. Don’t worry, no one will look at your terrible form or your weird, lumpy body.
- Talk to a stranger you just met. No friends? No problem! Chat up the guy next to you in your tutorial section. After a couple of minutes talking about your majors or whatever, it’s time to drop the bomb on just how mentally ill you are. Tell them about the sources of your trauma, how you don’t always brush your teeth in the morning, and anything else on your mind! Believe me, the baggage is easier to carry once you’ve dumped some of it on someone else.
- Major in psychology. Not being able to afford a psychologist doesn’t have to mean missing out on their expertise! Maybe if you learn enough clinical psychology, you’ll be able to diagnose yourself. Are you compartmentalising? Do you have a hormone imbalance? Only one way to find out! From there, it’s just a matter of curing yourself. I’m pretty sure people who know psychology can do that.
- Act like you’re very vulnerable and engaged with your emotions, but really you’re just analysing them as a way of avoiding feeling them. All that time spent inside your own head combined with all the psychology readings you’ve done will inevitably lead to an uncanny ability to recognise why you feel the way you feel. Why not explore that? You’ll be so busy thinking, there’ll be no room for emotions!
- Meditate. Because if you have all your darkest feelings locked up in your head, inaccessible to you after years of avoiding them, then all you need is a recording of a soothing voice to teach you how to open them up.
- Try to actually express your emotions by crying or screaming or something like that, but the entire time you feel as if you’re making yourself cry/scream and so you’re not sure if this even counts as feeling them, because really you’re kind of watching yourself as this happens and you don’t know how to be present with your feelings anymore. This is one of my personal favourites! #justdissociationthings
- Self-medicate. You know what’s wrong with you, don’t you? Take matters into your own hands and contact a chemistry specialist or a computer science student to hook you up with some antidepressants, stimulants, psilocybin (you read this very cool study about magic mushrooms and now you’re hooked on the idea), or whatever it is you know you need, without having to bother with the middleman of a psychiatrist or doctor.* Goodness knows it would take months and thousands of dollars to get a prescription.
- Take a self-care day. A fun movie, face mask, smoothie, nap, yoga routine, something will surely be the answer. Keep looking. It’s out there.
- Contact UofT Health and Wellness for their mental health clinical services, provided at no additional cost to all UofT students! Ah, sorry, you’ll have to come back in four months; your situation isn’t urgent enough yet, and we’re somewhat short-staffed. But we could connect you with private counselling starting at only, say, $200 per week?
*The Strand does not endorse this idea