Come in and Order a Cup of English Oolong Berry Today!
You have to try the new tea we have at Caffiends. It just came in and students are loving it! You can order it hot, iced, or even as a tea latte!! I mean, I guess you can do that with all the teas we already have. But this one’s new! Although, it’s not like I’ve actually tried all the other teas. I probably wouldn’t even have known that this one was new if somebody hadn’t told me. I don’t even like tea that much. Why the hell did I get so excited about a new tea at Caffiends when I don’t even drink tea? God! I’m so fucking fake! My life is so empty that I pretend to get all excited about tea just to fill the void in my chest. But a new tea won’t fill that void. Nothing will. It never goes away. It just gets bigger and bigger and bigger until one day it’s going to consume me. One day I’ll wake up, and look in the mirror, and all I’ll see is darkness and emptiness and absolute meaninglessness. So sure, come in and try our new tea. Tell everyone how excited you are about it. But if you do, I’ll know what it really means. Because I’m just like you. A scared little boy afraid of his own reflection, hiding behind a cup of tea.