Hi, my name is Anya. I worked at the Calgary Stampede for one day. I learned how to drive, trying not to cry while passing 14-wheelers on the AB-1 as my dad got distracted by the mountains. So yes, I am totally a certified cowboy™. Anyways, here are some songs:
“cowboy like me” by Taylor Swift
In each of us there are two cowboys: the one lurking in the dark, counting skeletons in the closet, and giving up dancing to commit sad romance crimes…
“Dime Store Cowgirl” by Kacey Musgraves
…and the one painting pink glitter hearts on a trailer while wearing a plastic tiara. Texas is a big, bad, scary place to be in today, so I think that taking us out of the country and instead thriving on the country within sounds pretty good.
“Every Rose Has Its Thorn” by Poison
It’s the deep wistful sigh before the song for me. Would recommend for late-night walks home from Robarts.
“Old Town Road (feat. Billy Ray Cyrus)” by Lil Nas X
There will be a potluck dinner next Thursday hosted in celebration of queer excellence of colour moving into cowboy town. Attendance will be mandatory.
“Take Me Home, Country Roads (feat. Waxahatchee)” by Whitney
I have this fever dream of a memory from high school Model UN: a bunch of IB kids, wearing business attire as subpar as their understanding of international politics, bursting into a song about West Virginia in a sweaty gym. I swear I didn’t imagine it. To my MUN friends, please enjoy a gorgeous cover of this little song we love.
“Desperado” by Eagles
Sometimes I wish I could just pack my sad nonsense up and leave. Ride into the sunset with my hands wrapped around the reigns of my steed and never come back.
“You’ve Got a Friend in Me” by Randy Newman
This is a Toy Story song. Toy Story songs are automatically cowboy songs. “When She Loved Me” by Sarah McLachlan would probably have been the superior Toy Story song, but that one makes me cry.
“Work That” by Megan Thee Stallion
Yes, sometimes hearing Megan go on about rodeos while I try to create the illusion of good eyebrows makes me feel great about myself at 7:30 in the morning. Leave me alone.
“Stranger” by Trixie Mattel
Hello Trixie Mattel fans—are you looking for an absolute icon, legend, pioneer of a gay country grandpa? Go check out Lavender Country. Cowboy fact: the original version of this song, “I Can’t Shake the Stranger Out of You” by Lavender Country, was released nearly 50 years ago in 1973!
“cowboy in LA” by LANY
I listen to this when I feel like a lost child in Toronto. “Let’s skip the club, let’s skip the crowd.” It’s not social anxiety, it’s just my bona fide pastoral romanticism.
“Cowboy Casanova” by Carrie Underwood
Just like Carrie said, I think we all need to do a little more yelling at manipulative men.
“Girl Crush” by Little Big Town
It’s not a gay song. It’s a Sappho-writing-serenades-about-women-but-really-it’s-about-their-men-buddies kind of thing. So…it’s a gay song. I don’t know man, I think “I want her long blonde hair” means exactly what it means. Every cowboy playlist needs a bisexual anthem.
“Cowboy Take Me Away” by The Chicks
I’m picturing a runaway wedding, poetry reading in the woods, long-haul drive to visit your favourite people with a pie in the backseat.
“Space Cowboy” by Kacey Musgraves
Pure musical genius.
“Saskatchewan” by Les Trois Accords
It’s time to add “Saskatchewan, tu m’a pris ma femme” to your “voulez-vous coucher avec moi.” Seavey, I promise I will remember to submit our projet culturel before the due date.
“Pumpkin Cowboy” by Brian David Gilbert
A fine addition to my regular ritual of reviewing BDG’s entire discography at the cursed hour of 1 am. If I taught grade 12 English, I would make my students analyze this masterpiece as a means of understanding the hero’s journey. If I taught grade 12 English, you can bet my classroom would have thrift store puppets, green screens, and gourds.
“Clara Frazer, Clara Frazer” by Lavender Country
She’s a commie! She’s a dyke! She’s a striker! A wage hiker!
“Dead of Night” by Orville Peck
Shout out to Kieran. I, too, would hit the strange canyon road with you in the dead of night.
“Dicked Down in Dallas” by Trey Lewis
The mysterious stranger who walks into the saloon requires a dramatic exit imbued with poignant, thought-provoking moral ambiguity. It is only right that the final song on my playlist serves the symbolic function of such a denouement. Listen at your own risk, and I shall bid you farewell. Yeehaw baby.
