Woman in the shadows  

From nymphs and sirens to the ‘Manic Pixie Dream Girl,’ femininity has long been sifted through ideals and tropes that overshadow its complexity. Superficial characterisations of the feminine as elusive, alluring, and even supernatural dismiss femininity as something worth understanding. Instead, it is reduced to a mere concept that neither men nor women are expected to understand. 

The overshadowing of female complexity is frequently shown in the stereotyping of women as overly emotional. This stereotype excuses men’s lack of understanding of femininity under the notion that women are simply irrational. A severe example of this is the popular diagnosis of ‘female hysteria’ in women who exhibited behaviours that were deemed inappropriate in the nineteenth century. Seeking autonomy, committing infidelity, or having a disagreeable personality could have been symptoms of this hysteria. Instead of considering women as complex, their unconventionalism was deemed crazy—a malfunction of their sex simply beyond understanding. 

The mystification of femininity existed in other intellectual fields like psychology. Although Sigmund Freud’s ideas are widely considered unreputable, they remain influential to modern ways of thinking. His emphasis on the importance of symbolism, for instance, is a major tool in analysis today. In his book The Interpretation of Dreams, Freud claims that when men first encounter a vagina, they experience castration anxiety. Though Freud may not be correct in his generalisation, the idea of the female sex, as something both desired and feared, underlies symbolic representations of femininity today, like tropes.

In many of these tropes, it is the unknowableness of femininity that makes it seductive and terrifying. For example, mythological sirens and their beautiful, haunting melodies that lead sailors astray, or the ‘Femme Fatale’ who uses her dangerous allure to destroy the male hero. 

The portrayal of femininity as a dark but beckoning corridor that men must learn to conquer villainises the nature of femininity by determining it cruel. Moreover, it perpetuates the notion of female sexuality as perverse by portraying it as a weapon against men—just like Freud’s idea of the vagina as a threat to emasculation. 

Sometimes, however, the sexy but scary female does not lead her man into ruin. Manic Pixie Dream Girl (MPDG) is a term coined by film critic Nathan Rabin to describe the female trope characterised by her eccentricity and zest for life. The role of the MPDG is to inspire the “broodingly soulful” male lead. Though the MPDG is desired, her otherworldliness poses a threat to the man’s security. Still, he is galvanised into betterment, if not for her than for himself. 

A popular example of this trope is Ramona Flowers from the movie Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Ramona is an enchanting free spirit with a mysterious past. When Scott, the awkward male lead, learns about all her crazy exes he must fight to be with her, he is pushed out of his comfort zone into self-actualisation. He emerges from this experience more confident than before. 

Beyond her romantic history and ever-changing hair colour, Ramona has little else going on and exists only as a feminine role in service to Scott’s character growth. With such tropes, female complexity is safely shrouded in mystery, and with only its ethereal allure in view, we are once again exempt from having to understand women. 

Even the nineteenth-century Russian author Fyodor Dostoevsky, a master at exploring the multifacetedness of human nature, makes this escape. His book, Crime and Punishment, follows Raskolnikov, a “broodingly soulful young man” amidst a moral crisis who is brought to enlightenment by his love interest Sonya. While Raskolnikov is a complicated representation of the tormented modern man, Sonya is a righteous, selfless, feminine ideal praised for the sacrifices she makes for others. Her goodness and suffering inspire Raskolnikov’s redemption. 

Whether or not Dostoevsky asks that women should aspire to be like Sonya, I do not know. What I do know is that characters like Sonya perpetuate the idea of an ideal femininity that functions as an instrument for male maturation. Not only does this archetype stigmatise female experiences with despair, nihilism, and moral tension, but it can also instil in men unfair expectations for women to be perfect. 

Ultimately, such idealisation produces the expectation for women to be perfect by embodying the ideal and becoming the concept of femininity. What femininity is in the grand scheme of its complexity becomes irrelevant. The relevant question is what femininity could or should be. As a result, the reality of femininity becomes stigmatised. 

This is seen in the unrealistic expectations for women’s bodies to be perfect. This standard leads women to unnatural methods of satisfying the ideal, such as food restriction, plastic surgery, and even hair removal. Instead of demystifying femininity and acknowledging women’s bodies as human bodies, women are expected to accommodate standards of perfection set by men. 

As a literature student, I have read many books that follow the internal turmoil of the Modern Man. I have sympathised with and loved these male characters, but am growing ever-restless for more conversation about the Modern Woman: the complicated woman.

Women are born and raised in a world structured by men and while navigating and understanding such a patriarchal world, we are also navigating the matriarchal world that exists within and among us. I believe this earns women a unique perspective and profound understanding of humanity. Wisdom awaits us if we take the time and the opportunity to understand femininity—through literature, art, conversation, and even just consideration.  

There is an aversion, from men and women alike, towards demystifying the feminine and accepting that the ideal does not exist. We are afraid that the woman stepping out of the shadows will disenchant us. But there is not only one woman in the shadows, and the more I seek to understand these women, the more I am enchanted by femininity, the farther the world opens up, the more meaningful it becomes.