1. “The Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vahkkah” episode of The O.C.
Perhaps the only real piece of art in this list, it’s been a holiday classic for a decade now. If your memory fails you, or if you’re just not a dedicated O.C. fan, it’s the episode where Seth and Summer throw Ryan a bar mitzvah in order to help pay for Johnny the surfer’s surgery. It’s probably the highlight of the unfortunate third season, and, of course, abounds with yamaclauses.
2. Michael Bublé’s Christmas Albums
Familiar to everyone who’s ever shopped in a Shoppers Drug Mart sometime during the holiday season, the iconic holiday albums Let it Snow, It’s Christmas Time, and Christmas are great tools to suck all the holiday cheer out of your soul with poppy, upbeat, jazzy sounds. Best listened to with copious amounts of alcohol on hand, or, like, never.
3. A Very Murray Christmas
While this new release will not hit Netflix until December 4, this Christmas special promises to be a great time with George Clooney, Amy Poehler, Jason Schwartzman, Miley Cyrus, and, of course, Bill Murray. IMDB describes the plot as: “Bill Murray worries no one will show up to his T.V. show due to a terrible snow-storm in New York City.” I’m not holding my breath for high art here, but I’m also always down for scripted gatherings of celebrities.
4. Love Actually
Although in recent years Love Actually has come under extreme criticism for its ridiculous, kind-of-gross treatment of relationships and people generally, it’s pretty much the best Christmas film to come out of the UK in the past few years. Although problematic, it’s still a lot better than The Holiday, and Bill Nighy is charmingly rude as a washed-out-pop-singer; look out for his choice insults throughout.
5. The John Lewis 2014 Christmas Advertisement
These ads are pretty much only famous in the UK, but don’t dismiss the absolute charm of the 2014 ad. It’s guaranteed to make you feel like a shitty person who definitely needs to buy some expensive gifts from a department store. Also, there are penguins, so that’s a plus.
6. Joy
David O. Russell’s new biopic about the woman who designed the Miracle Mop stars a surprising cast that includes Robert De Niro, Bradley Cooper, and J-Law. Joy promises to be subtly misogynistic despite starring a woman, and will most definitely be award-season fodder. It comes out on Christmas Day and will probably put a damper on any of your joyous Christmas-related plans, unless you’re into David O. Russell’s personal brand of shittiness.
7. Frozen
Tangled is a better movie, but “Let it Go” is a pretty great winter-themed banger.
8. Sufjan Stevens’ Songs for Christmas and Silver and Gold: Songs for Christmas
You’ve got to be pretty dedicated to Sufjan Stevens to ever want to deal with the ten-volume Christmas collection that also includes original short stories, essays, and original art. The volumes feature a mix of original and traditional songs and (true to Stevens’s style) features some pretty weird stuff, including lots of “traditional” songs literally no one has ever heard of. A compendium of Volumes 1-5 costs $21.48 on Amazon, making it a perfect gift for those $25-or-less Secret Santa gift exchanges. It also got a 7.5 from Pitchfork, if you’re into that.
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