The “enthusiastic yes”

Ontario’s battle for consent education

When it comes to sex, what’s the first step that comes to mind? Frantically searching for a non-expired condom? Finding the perfect soundtrack? Putting a sock on the door? Well, ideally, none of these things come first because the very first step in every sexual interaction—or really any interaction—should be consent.

What exactly is consent, anyway? I know we all saw the video they played during Orientation Week; you know, the one with the tea. You wouldn’t force someone to have tea, would you? If they asked for tea before and they don’t want it now, there shouldn’t be any problem with that. And most importantly, tea should never be forced upon someone. But consent in the real, non tea-centric world is a lot more complicated than that.

The concept of consent is not just for sexual interactions; it can, and should, be applied to everyday life as well. Some educators believe that the topic of consent should be taught to children as early as in Kindergarten—just in different words. Using concepts like “personal space” and “bad touch” allows children to articulate their discomfort before it gets out of hand—and allows educators to nip nonconsensual behaviour in the bud.

In preparation for this article, I had the honour to interview the co-founder of the #StudentsSayNo movement, Rayne Fisher-Quann. At just 17 years old, she was instrumental in orchestrating the largest walk-out in Canadian history; on September 21, 2018, over 100 schools across Ontario walked out in protest of the Ford government’s cuts to both sex education and Indigenous education curricula. When asked why she got involved with sex-ed activism, Fisher-Quann said it perfectly: “I think that […] it’s not too ambitious to dream of a society where [sexual harassment] doesn’t happen. Education is the cornerstone to making that happen. I always think if [my catcallers] had learned about consent in a mandatory school setting, would they be treating me like that? Probably not.”

In addition to Fisher-Quann, I also interviewed sex educator Caitlin O’Fallon from Planned Parenthood in Saint Paul, Minnesota, USA, about her thoughts on consent-focused sex-ed.

 According to O’Fallon, “We consent to stuff all day—do you need a ride? Do you need help? Do you wanna hang out? But we don’t think about how that’s consent.”

Both Fisher-Quann and O’Fallon emphasize that consent should be practiced constantly and shouldn’t just be limited to the bedroom.

When speaking on its role in everyday life, Fisher-Quann asserts that “consent is a concept that transcends sexual education. [It’s] not just about sex. If Ontario is talking about wanting to build communities that understand consent, and where women and femmes feel completely safe, that’s something that should be implemented as soon as possible, [like] introducing consent education in multiple different forms, basically as young as it gets. It really is a very digestible concept.”

The importance of consent should be universally agreed upon: a simple “yes means yes, no means no.” Right? Well, not according to Doug Ford.

In 2015, Ontario’s Liberal government introduced an updated sex-ed curriculum: a fairly progressive lesson plan that included the topics of masturbation, sexual orientation and gender identity, and Indigenous teachings of sexuality, among others. But in 2018, the newly elected Doug Ford and his Tory government replaced it with sex-ed curriculum the province originally used in 1998—a move highly criticized by students and educators alike.

In the interim 2018 curriculum, the term ‘consent’ was not mentioned anywhere. The only type of sex mentioned was penile-vaginal, and sexual abstinence was heavily stressed. In comparison to the 2015 curriculum introduced by the Liberals, Ford’s was highly reductive and dangerously lacking in relevant content.

As of Fall 2019, a new curriculum has been added to replace Ford’s. Funnily enough, it’s virtually indistinguishable from the 2015 curriculum he fought so hard to replace. But there is one crucial difference: much more sex-ed, including more consent-related topics, is now taught as early as Grade 1. Materials within this addition include recognizing caring versus exploitative behaviours, positive self-talk, and learning the proper anatomical names for body parts.

Previously, consent was first taught in Grade 7, with an optional teacher prompt given in Grade 6. According to Globalnews.ca, the word ‘consent’ “shows up nearly three times more often in this curriculum than the old one.”

The introduction of Ontario’s new curriculum is obviously a step in the right direction for sex education activists—but by no means has it reached the end goal. As Fisher-Quann states, “[Sex education curriculum] should be designed by people who don’t look like me. I think an ideal sex-ed curriculum is one that’s created in collaboration with queer communities, communities of colour, with young people, with children. I don’t think that any one person, no matter how “woke” they are, can really create a fully cohesive and comprehensive sex-ed curriculum.”

Including marginalized groups in the conversation not only allows the children in their communities to be better equipped to handle the world, but it creates a future where consent is a given—and a “no” really does mean no.