STRANDED
I broke off my engagement because he wrote in “HARAMBE” on election day
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Five easy ways to make your employer your mommy!
Listen up readers: Some university students do not have the privilege of living on residence devoid of any financial obligation. Some university students don’t get to have sex all the time. Some of us have to work in retail, surrounded by managers and bosses that are mean, grumpy, and vindictive. ...
A eulogy to Vine
The lord giveth, and the lord taketh away. There is no other way to say this: Vine is dead. What the hell are we supposed to do now? Watch America’s Funniest Home Videos clips on YouTube? Tom Bergeron is a low-rent Tim Allen, and we all know what that man ...
An Interview with Jon Favreau
September 8th, 2020—Longtime Stranded Contributor Wilfred Moeschter lands an exclusive interview with the infamous Disney director Jon Favreau discussing his latest live action reboot: Finding Nemo. Take a look at what the director had to say about his actors, eating with his actors, eating his actors, and his new take ...
Campus Group Wages War on Political Correctness
ST. GEORGE CAMPUS – Following the success of the UofT Free Speech Rally last Tuesday, organizers are looking forward to their upcoming schedule of events attacking political correctness throughout the year. In November, the confident group is excited to be hosting The “Let White People Use Slurs While Listening To ...
Students Wonder What Blazer-Wearing Student’s Deal Is
Students in Aristotelian Philosophy lecture this week note odd behavior of student, Andrew Nedzweski—who appeared in class wearing a grey blazer atop his usual outfit. “I just didn’t see it coming,” an anonymous contributor notes, “I usually rely on his outfits for some form of stability in my life, ...
Student Wears Blazer To Class, Immediately Has Life On Track
Andrew Nedzweski, 20, arrived at his second Aristotelian Philosophy lecture donning a dark-grey blazer over his red Bazinga! shirt, a brash move which he says he “just decided to pull” after stumbling upon the blazer at the back of his closet. “I’m in third year now,” says Nedzweski, “so I’ve really ...
Why I Alone Should Be The Next Brangelina
In Hollywood, not everyone can be rich, famous, or beautiful, or rich. Last week when Angelina Jolie, 41, filed for divorce from Brad Pitt, 52, everything seemed to change. For the past twelve years—including and in Pitt’s words “only” two years of marriage—the industry has followed the light that human ...
U of T Professor Against Gender Pronouns and Trigger Warnings Traumatized By Backlash
ST. GEORGE CAMPUS — A U of T Professor of Psychology has undergone immense backlash since Friday when he publicized his adamant reluctance to use non-binary gender pronouns via a visually bland YouTube video. On the use of non-binary gender pronouns, Dr. Jordan Peterson told the CBC, “I don’t recognize ...
BUTTPLUG WENTE: Welcome to college – and the thought police BUTTPLUG
Freshman orientation week isn’t what it used to be BUTTPLUG These days, it’s not just about learning your way around the campus BUTTPLUG It’s also about learning how to avoid giving unintentional offence BUTTPLUG Not all the answers are obvious BUTTPLUG For example, is it okay to sing along with ...