Starting College, If You’re Into That

Starting university is terrifying.

Last June you were still asking permission to use the bathroom, and now you’re living on your own—or worse, you’re expected to effectively cohabitate with another human being and you’ve got no parental safety net to fix things when you screw the pooch. You’ve got stadium-sized lectures where literally no one will notice your teeny existence. That can be daunting. It’s easy to start taking things way too seriously, and that can lead to intense student anxiety. Tomato tomahto.

At any rate, taking things too seriously is bad for your health, so stop it. Now. I see you freaking out about that 2000-word essay due in November. Cut it out. You’re making me nervous. It’s bothering me. This kind of behavior has a tendency to snowball into other parts of your life, and you find yourself feeling anxious about making friends, dating, finding something fulfilling to pursue, among other things. So here’s a survival list of sorts to help you out.

1. No one really expects anything of you.

All that’s really required of you after you pay up to get in is meeting deadlines and putting things in your mouth that will keep you alive. We’re all in this dorm together, eating ramen and wearing flip-flops in the shared shower. Nobody’s judging anyone here. Be a hermit that never leaves their room. Or be that person always playing piano in the common room.

2. Don’t worry about being good at stuff.

You’ll have a tendency to think that everything you make, write, or pursue creatively is terrible. Sad truth, it likely is. But that’s okay. You’re in an institutionalized learning facility because you still need to learn how to do stuff. You can suck at what you do because you’re growing, and you never really stop growing.

3. Take some goddamn bird courses.

The really irrelevant stuff that just sounds dope to learn about. Detective Fiction? Sign me the fuck up. The Physics of Sci-fi? HELL YEAH. You’re supposed to be still figuring out what you want to do, so sign up for something outside your major ‘cause it looks hella cool.

4. Go to class. Be productive.

Okay, so maybe this one seems out of place, but nothing is more likely to lead to depression than waking up at 5 PM, feeling like it’s too late to start anything, and not getting anything done. Don’t skip class. Get stuff done every day. You’ll feel awesome. You’re great. Reward yourself. Get a burrito or something. Eat it like an animal, you champ.

5.Don’t feel alone.

There’s, like, SO MANY peeps here. If you’re afraid that people are going to treat you weird for the weird stuff you’re into, don’t. Whatever you’re into, other folks around are going to be into it, too. There are whole Facebook groups for meeting people at the university. Need a dungeon master for your D&D group? Totes magotes. Want to start an appreciation group for early Russian cinema? Do it up. Need ANOTHER dungeon master for your freaky sex cave? Use safe words, you beautiful weirdo.

Ultimately, whatever happens, you’re gonna survive. Don’t sweat it. Don’t freak out. The next four (or more) years are gonna suck sometimes. But they’ll also be pretty cool.