Jam to this as you walk to the hellish Con Hall
If any month would be a villain in a horror movie, it’d be September. Omnipresent, always looming around the corner as summer comes to an unfortunate end, catching up to you by surprise. At least September comes with consistency: if you’re in school, it marks a time of beginnings, of taking another step towards completing something that may seem impossible at times. I’ve listened to many of these songs as I’ve trekked across campus, sometimes while purposely crossing Queen’s Park to Hart House while a Lamborghini was approaching in hopes that they’d hit me – then I could sue and get my tuition paid for.
“Schoolin’ Life” by Beyoncé
One of her most iconic and underrated songs. She chants: “Who needs a degree when you’re schoolin’ life?” with more confidence than I can ever imagine possessing, and as she should. Beyoncé never attended college but continues to floor expectations of what a superstar is capable of doing as she dominates not only pop music, but pop culture. Beyoncé may not be a teacher by occupation, but she can definitely teach us all how to think critically about normalized methods of education and success.
“Campus” by Vampire Weekend
Listen to this song on a loop as you walk across the entirety of the UofT campus. Don’t stop till you’ve covered every square inch, and this includes going to the weird isolated buildings on Spadina.
“Class of 2013” by Mitski
We interrupt your playlist with one of the saddest songs around. Mitski captures the struggle of moving back into your parents’ house as you cope with dying dreams, every young undergrad’s worst fear. Listen to her sing it live on NPR’s “Tiny Desk Concert”; she screams the lyrics into her guitar pickups, getting across emotions of fear and uncertainty better than you could ever articulate.
“Drain my brain” by The Memories
University throws so much information at you at such a fast pace. Unfortunately, science hasn’t reached the point where you can take old information out of your brain to make space for the content you’ll need for exams, so this song will just have to do. The work you put into getting a good mark for a class — that may end up ruining your GPA because you missed a class or two so your participation mark was 50% — is exhausting and draining. School sucks. This song is for when it’s just hitting you a bit too hard.
“Unemployed” by Tierra Whack
This is not only my biggest fear or yours, but it’s likely your parents’ biggest fear too. Despite the title, surrealist rapper Tierra Whack performs the song with the amount of confidence that Jeff Bezos definitely has. Whack wrote this hard-hitting bop with the aid of her mom; you can thank her for the catchy hook. Her flow is refreshing, pushing out articulate lyrics at a rate that’ll make you have to listen to it a few times to catch all her points.
“Vowels = Space and Time” by Grimes
Honestly, I don’t really understand what linguistics is about or what people learn when they’re taking classes in it, and at this point, I’m too scared to ask. Based on my very vague understanding of it, words are involved, so this one is for any of you nerds currently in or considering taking it. I appreciate you, your program, and the work you do but I don’t really get it.
“8th Grade” by Mariah Carey
Middle School? Sorry, I don’t know her. The only 8th grade I’ll ever speak of is this song. Rumour has it that if you listen to Mariah Carey sing this, all of your gross and embarrassing memories from ages 11-13 will be erased. Some things are better left forgotten, like the incredibly odd stage in life when you’re starting to come into your own but are doing it in a really cringey way.
“Put it Off Until Tomorrow” by Dolly Parton
My favourite thing about the beginning of a new school year is how wholesome it is. There’s so much hope, so many aspirations, dreams of actually being organized this term. How naïve of us all. I appreciate the spirit and energy that the beginning of a term brings but we all know it’s going to fall through. The illusion of working on that paper weeks in advance begins to shatter, and you end up putting it off until the day it’s due, or the day before, if you’re lucky.
