IN or OUT?

Happy 2022 to all you lovely students and fanatics of The Strand! With the passing of another year comes the passing of judgment upon it, through the annual cathartic exercise of an In/Out list. For those who are unfamiliar, take it as an opportunity to unpack your personal frustrations and manifest some better feelings for the new year. Or take it a step further and publish those opinions in a student newspaper: really, go wild with it. The practice of an In/Out list is majorly inspired by The Washington Post, which publishes a pop culture and news-riddled list at the start of each year. But for those of you who can’t afford The Post’s ridiculous paywall, well, you’re stuck with me. Rest assured, none of my Ins and Outs are backed by objective fact. In an effort to stay true to the wise, ancient maxim of “new year, new me,” here are some greetings to the Ins of 2022.

Hello to taking the train instead of smooshing ourselves into endless bus rides, renting cars, and enlarging our carbon footprint with yet another Air Canada flight. This is the year to soak in the journey just as much as the destination by embarking on an eight-hour rail journey to some smaller, less interesting Canadian city (pending restriction and safety precautions, of course). Let’s appreciate those early sunrises, drinking Irish coffees at 7 am, ditching the city for the coast, and all the little things just a bit more.

Hello to fully embracing the things we keep hidden, like that farmer’s tan or the fact that you are an incessant jaywalker. It happens to all of us, so let’s just be truthful and acknowledge our irregular tans or occasionally petty crimes. And to stop being ashamed of guilty pleasures like YA novels. When the employee in Indigo inquires why you’re in the teen romance section… we stand our ground. This book is not a gift for my non-existent little cousin. It’s for me, and I’ll enjoy every single page of this 32-point font novel. 

As much as we make our resolutions for what is to come, it’s just as important to wave goodbye to things we’ll leave in our rearview mirrors. Here are some apologies to those we are leaving behind:

Sorry Great British Bake Off, but I never quite understood the hype, and I’m officially over the pop-cultural obsession with the British. I simply do not care what the Queen wore on her holiday to Beckinghamshirebrooke. I don’t find interest in British people whispering over a trifle. For those who agree and need an alternative, I suggest Nailed it! Germany. Now that’s some quality European entertainment.

Sorry coconut milk, but you had your chance and you blew it. You could have been the alternative milk of the century, but you seriously fumbled the ball these past couple years. Truly the Skype to oat milk’s Zoom, and it is just too embarrassing to watch anymore.

Sorry binge-watching, but you just don’t give me that same feeling I got in 2007 when I would sprint to the bathroom during a commercial break so as to not miss the season finale of Law & Order SVU. I mean, we’ve all been there, and I’m nostalgic for it! This is the year to painstakingly stretch that show out for a week and pretend we’re back in the golden age of cable, ‘cause let’s be honest, we have the time.

Sorry (not) sorry for bicycles. Is this a part of my personal vengeance on two-wheeled vehicles after never having learned to ride one and being subsequently made fun of by my peers? Yes. Do I realize canceling an entire mode of transportation is a bit lofty? Even more so, but this is a hill I’ll die on. 

Some goodbyes need no explanation. Infomercials? Absolutely obsolete. QVC has nothing on those Instagram algorithm ads that hear my thoughts and produce links to oddly specific t-shirts. Disney Remakes? If you saw Camila Cabello’s Cinderella, you know why. Pete Buttigieg had failed me as the Secretary of Transportation thus far (where are the high-speed rail plans, Pete?) and Polaroids are just too expensive in this economy. For fans of Marvel, I genuinely have no reasons besides the fact I’m in the camp of people who simply disdain Marvel. Sorry.

Finally, it’s time to say goodbye to having a sense of security. We’ve been hanging on to a hope for normalcy for far too long and it’s time to let go. All we can do is buckle in and get ready for a wild ride. To quote Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar, “It was lovely to have you this year. See you next year…or not…” 

In for 2022:

• French Toast
• SPF 50
• Karaoke machines  
• Champagne 
• Jewel Tones 
• Seasonal Fruit Tarts
• Irish Coffee
• Pearls
• Tying gifts with string 
• Ocean air 
• Taking the train 
• Farmer’s tan
• Separatist movements 
• Sunrise
• Engraved Notebooks
• Wrap-around tattoos
• Federal Grants 
• YA Romance 
• Jaywalking
• The Pacific Northwest 
• Red Tape
• Stretching 
• DIY boomerangs
• Mermaid-core

Out for 2022:

• Cheap Wine 
• Vests
• $7 Coffees
• Acoustic Music 
• Bicycles 
• Coconut Milk
• 2000s aesthetics
• Infomercials 
• Standardized Testing 
• Polaroids 
• Studio apartments 
• Barstool 
• Disney remakes
• Vlogging
• The Great British Bake Off
• Anklets
• Utah
• Binge-watching 
• Justin Bieber 
• Online Shopping 
• Studying 
• Pete Buttigieg  
• Marvel
• A sense of security