Date The Strand
If you’ve ever been in love before—forget it! For The Strand is here once again to completely shake up your romantic life. The Features team asked the masthead to bare their souls, answer the hard questions, and play the fickle game of love. Many refused, but here are the responses we did get.
Abi Akinlade
Position at The Strand:
Opinions Editor
One word to describe my love life is…
Rollercoaster
If you (blank), I will immediately reject you
Diss astrology
My most chaotic date/date idea is…
Robbing a bank together (I have actually pitched this to someone lmfao)
The good ending of my storyline would be…
Riding off into the sunset (moving into a 2 bedroom loft in Manhattan)
Shelley Yao
Position at The Strand:
Court Jester
One word to describe my love life is…
Labyrinthian
If you (blank), I will immediately reject you
Have an average daily screen time greater than 1 hour on TikTok
The main thing I’m looking for in a partner is…
Their cat
My most chaotic date/date idea is…
Infiltrating a furniture trade show at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre
Rion Levy
Position at The Strand:
Mascot Manager
The bad ending of my storyline would be…
Inside a volcano
An ick I get is…
When you look better in knit sweaters than my cat would (if she had any)
My most chaotic date/date idea is…
Have you heard of Hanlan’s Point?
If you (blank), I will fall in love with you
Write for The Strand
Janus Kwong
Position at The Strand:
Production Manager
One word to describe my love life is…
Simp
One thing I can’t live without is…
Regrettably, TikTok
A song that describes my love life is…
“Let You Break My Heart Again,” by Laufey lol
My red flag is…
I WILL hyperfixate on my partner
Janna Abbas
Position at The Strand:
Co-Girlboss-in-Chief
The good ending of my storyline would be…
Acting on my delusions paying off :)
The bad ending of my storyline would be…
Acting on my delusions not paying off :(
My red flag is…
Don’t have one—nooo babe, don’t take off those rose-colored glasses, you’re so sexy ahah
Don’t give me flowers or chocolate, I want (blank)!
tear-streaked love letters confessing your undying and all-consuming love for me
Roensa Salija
Position at The Strand:
Senior Copy Editor
One word to describe my love life is…
A series of delusions
If you (blank), I will fall in love with you
Ignore me and leave me on read
Don’t give me flowers or chocolate, I want (blank)!
Access to your streaming subscription services
A song that describes my love life is…
“You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift
Faith Wershba
Position at The Strand:
Stranded Editor
(blank) is my way of saying I love you!
Wawawewa!
My red flag is…
The Canadian flag.
My green flag is…
The Brazilian flag.
On a Friday night, you can find me…
You can’t. I’m hiding.
Sarah Abernethy
Position at The Strand:
TikTok Philosophizer
Don’t give me flowers or chocolate, I want (blank)!
Speak for yourself Features team, I want flowers.
The bad ending of my storyline would be…
I write a play about your life.
On a Friday night, you can find me…
Out dancing! Or throwing a party with a hyper-specific theme.
One word to describe my love life is…
Baffling.
Kieran Guimond
Position at The Strand:
Science Editor
A song that describes my love life is…
“I / Me / Myself” – Will Wood
An ick I get is…
When men are taller than me
My ideal meet-cute would be…
You’re a customer at Caffiends, I’m behind the counter, I make you the best latte of your life and you fall in love with me
My most chaotic date/date idea is…
Breaking into Ramsay Wright at night and looking at brains together <3
Kelsey Phung
Position at The Strand:
Photo Editor
(blank) is my way of saying I love you!
Send you random thing I find interesting
A song that describes my love life is…
“Hello” by TREASURE
My green flag is…
You can cook
The good ending of my storyline would be…
We could still say hello comfortably
Eugene Kim
Position at The Strand:
Associate Features Editor
(blank) is my way of saying I love you!
Putting your name into the Love % Calculator on girlsgogames.com
The good ending of my storyline would be…
Fed up with my tomfoolery, you convince me to adopt healthy habits and a diurnal lifestyle. I finally have the time and energy to commit to you. We take pictures of pigeons and buy CDs together.
My ideal meet-cute would be…
I tried to think of one but couldn’t because I can’t imagine a single scenario where I’m not embarrassing myself in front of someone I just met.
The bad ending of my storyline would be…
An anvil falls on my head as I’m headed to our date and I shatter into a million tiny pieces. Thinking I stood you up, you leave the restaurant heartbroken. You text me that we’re done for but I provide no reply. When you do find out about my demise, it’s too late.
Ishika Rishi
Position at The Strand:
Town Scribe
If you (blank), I will fall in love with you
Have a bubbling, raging, passionate hatred for bananas
The main thing I’m looking for in a partner is…
A shared hatred for bananas
Don’t give me flowers or chocolate, I want (blank)!
Bananas (for my evil agenda)
An ick I get is…
I think I’ve made it pretty obvious
Sam Rosati Martin
Position at The Strand:
Gossip Enjoyer
One word to describe my love life is…
Bewitched/bothered/bewildered
A song that describes my love life is…
She-wolf…
Don’t give me flowers or chocolate, I want (blank)!
A mysterious locked box that emits a low and ominous humming noise, and is opened in my moment of greatest peril or doubt
The bad ending of my storyline would be…
A big bird picks me up and flies into the distance with me and not you :(
Chelsey Wang
Position at The Strand:
Associate Illustration Editor
My red flag is…
Too hansome
The main thing I’m looking for in a partner is…
Capybara
My most chaotic date/date idea is…
Us getting trapped on the 14th floor of Robarts
If you (blank), I will immediately reject you
Don’t give me cow socks