Don’t leave us Stranded on Valentine’s Day!
Illustrations by Humpreet Dhoat
Name: Elena Senechal-Becker
Position: Daddy
What’s your sign? Leo
What is your relationship status? Happy?
Describe your ideal date. You come over, tell me I’m hot, and then leave me alone so I can go to sleep
What is your dating website of choice? Instagram is just one long foreplay session
What’s a “deal breaker” for you? Not liking Sufjan Stevens
Name: Hana Nikcevic
Position: Palaeontologist
What is your relationship status? Do Not Disturb
What is your dating website of choice? JSTOR
Why should someone want to date you? I am an exciting opportunity for you to learn about Bronze Age civilisations in the Aegean
What’s a “deal breaker” for you? Gluten
Name: Kody McCann
Position: Serial Recycler of Newspaper
What’s your sign? Virgo, but you already knew that
What is your relationship status? Army husband
Worst dating horror story? She said yes in person but then texted me 45 minutes later saying no
Why should someone want to date you? I know all the words to “Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland
What is your biggest turn-on? Someone who tweets the Good Content
Name: Carol Eugene Park
Position: Podcast Editor
What’s your sign? Cancer
What is your relationship status? SINGLE AF and PROUD
What is your dating website of choice? Tinder, my one and only
Why should someone want to date you? As Lady Gaga eloquently put it, I am: “Talented. Brilliant. Incredible. Amazing. Showstopping. Spectacular. Never the same. Totally unique. Completely not ever been done before.”
What’s a “deal breaker” for you? If you deny climate change
Name: Rebecca Gao
Position: Vers
What’s your sign? Aquarius
What is your relationship status? Currently being a Loyal Queen to a Savage King
What is your dating website of choice? The comment section of thestrand.ca
What is your biggest turn-on? A deep and nuanced understanding of the band Green Day pre the Uno, Dos, Tre albums.
Name: Tristan McGrath-Waugh
Position: Señor Copyeditor
What’s your sign? Yield is my favourite
Worst dating horror story? One time, this guy asked to meet in person
What is your dating website of choice? thestrand.ca/masthead
Why should someone want to date you? “Can’t help you there” – BF
What’s your “type”? Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramírez
Name: Maia Kachan
Position: Associate Arts and Culture Editor
What’s your sign? Cancer moon, rising & Venus (a.k.a. overly emotional always)
What is your relationship status? Happily in a relationship—let’s go on friend dates!
What’s your dating website of choice? Tinder because I love knowing half of the queers in Toronto
Why should someone want to date you? Because I write weird sad poetry about my relationships so you’ll always be ambiguously mentioned, and also I’m really good at making risotto and will cook for you (but only that dish)
What’s your biggest turn-on? People 1000x smarter than me
Name: Alyssa DiBattista
Position: Copyeditor
What’s your sign? Gemini
What is your relationship status? A lot of peanut butter
Worst dating horror story? Frosh Week. Person X seems to think we are on a date. We are not on a date.
What is your biggest turn-on? Em dashes
What’s a “deal breaker” for you? My “deal breaker” is a “person” who “refuses” to “squeal” with me at the “mere presence” of “copiously chubby” Queen’s Park squirrels
Name: Kathleen Chen
Position: Opinionated Editor
Describe your ideal date. We get tattoos of each other’s names
Why should someone want to date you? Well, I can make you instant oatmeal
What’s your “type”? Sleep-deprived, undernourished TAs
What’s a “deal breaker” for you? Not acknowledging white privilege
